Planners Staff Structure:

DIRECTOR OF PLANNING
Leaps tall buildings with a single bound. Is more powerful than a locomotive. Is faster than a speeding bullet. Walks on water. Makes policy.

SENIOR PLANNER
Leaps short buildings with a single bound. Is more powerful than a switch engine. Is just as fast as a speeding bullet. Walks on water if the sea is calm.  Talks policy.

SENIOR EXECUTIVE PLANNER
Leaps short buildings with a running start and a tail wind. Is almost as powerful as a switch engine. Is faster than a speeding bumble-bee. Walks on water in indoor swimming pools at the shallow end. Discusses policy if special request is approved.

EXECUTIVE PLANNER
Barely clears security-personnel huts. Loses tug-of-war with locomotives. Can fire a speeding bullet. Swims well. Occasionally hears about policy.

ASSISTANT PLANNER
Gets injured when trying to leap buildings. Is run over by locomotives. Can sometimes handle guns without inflicting self injury. Dog paddles. Knows policy exists.

STUDENT PLANNER
Runs into buildings. Recognises locomotives two out of three. Is not issued ammunition. Can stay afloat if properly instructed in use of Mae West. Pays premiums on policy.

PLANNING TECHNICIAN
Draws easy buildings for Planners to leap.  Knows when to get out of the way of a locomotive.  Is not issued weapons. Drowns.  Avoids policy.

COMMUNITY PARTICIPATION PLANNER
Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter building. Says “look at the choo-choo.” Wets himself with a water pistol. Plays in mud puddles. Can’t afford policy.

DIRECTOR'S SECRETARY
Lifts buildings and walks under them. Kicks locomotives off track. Catches speeding bullets in teeth and eats them. Freezes water with a single glance. Explains policy to Director of Planning.

Planner  Sporting Interests

The Recreation Research Foundation announced the following study results on Planner recreation preferences:

1. Sport of choice for Student Planners: bowling.
2. Sport of choice for Graduate Planners: football.
3. Sport of choice for Executive Planners: cricket
4. Sport of choice for Senior Planners: tennis.
5. Sport of choice for Planning Managers: golf.

CONCLUSION: The higher you are in the Planner career structure, the smaller your balls get.

You are a Planner in the Public Sector if...

• You understand the rationalization of an acronym comprised of acronyms.
• You can name the project leader of more than 10 projects including your own, but still can't explain in the simplest terms what they do.
• You know that the location of a meeting is directly related to it's importance. (1) A meeting in Leitrim requires a subordinate or a contractor. (2) The same meeting in Paris requires your personal attention.
• You work for an acronym, on an acronym, and your job title is an acronym.
• You've sat at the same desk for 3 years, done the same thing for 3 years, but have had 3 different business cards.
• The process becomes more important than the product.
• You don't see anything wrong with attending a meeting on a subject you know nothing about.
• You feel you contributed to the meeting just by being there.
• You realize that a paperless office is impossible. Actually, you believe it is possible, just not in your office.
• You keep documents on projects that have been long since cancelled.
• You stop raising issues/ problems because you know you will be the one answering them.
• You drive across the country to attend a conference with 100+ people to discuss the fact that the project does not have enough money.
• You've sat at the same desk for 6 years and worked for three different agencies.
• When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.
• You get really excited about a 1% pay raise.
• Your biggest loss from a computer system crash is that you loose your best jokes.
• Communication is something your team is having problems with.
• Change is the norm.
• Nepotism is encouraged.

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and finally, did you know

Carelessly planned projects take three times longer to complete  than expected. Carefully planned projects take four times longer to complete than expected, mostly because the planners expect their planning to reduce the time it takes.

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