vALs (value per ALcholic unit)
vALs = VOLUME (litres) x ALCHOLIC STRENGTH (%) PRICE i.e. the amount of ethanol that can be consumed per unit money. The higher the vAL number the less it will cost to get drunk consuming that beverage.Batten down the mizzen matey, hard times a comin'. Yes cheap drinkers it is now time to brew and prepare for Winter with all the zeal of a glutinous squirrel. The unthinkable has happened. Dutch Gold has now risen to £5.50. Gone are the days of 6 for a fiver. Shed a tear, have a drink. The cheap drinker once had Grants and Dutch as his only reliable friends but with the approach of the bastard Euro nothing is sacred. Prepare for price increases all round. Save heart-ache by contacting all friends returning from abroad to buy you a tall bottle of duty-free voka. Do it now! Don't delay. Sober(ish) hours must be utilised for the hoarding of alcohol.
CORK CITYHere are the stats provided by James. We need volunteers for price surveying! Do you drink in Cork? Are you cheap? Do you like SWEET LIQUOR? Maybe you are eligible for the job? Mail Jiz for details.
CIDER Off-Licence: 4.51 vALs (Galvins: "Devil's Bit"- £7.99, 6%, 3 x 2.0l) BEER Off-Licence: 2.88 vALs (Galvins: "Amstel"- £7.99, 4.6%, 5l) Public Bar: 1.36 vALs (Bradleys: "Beamish"- £1.59, 3.8%, 0. 568l) WINE Off-Licence: 2.51 vALs (Dunnes Stores: "French White" £3.59, 12%, 0.75l) SPIRITS Public Bar: 0.94 vALs (Bradleys: vodka £1.39, 37.5%, 0.035l) Off-Licence: 2.71 vALs (Dunnes Stores- "Kinsey vodka" - £13.79, 37.5%, 1.0l)
vALs are the best measure of ethanol-derived pleasure but there are some other factors to be taken into consideration when purchasing your drink: -
1. Taste: A pleasing taste may reduce drink-related nausea hence allowing the consumption of greater volumes before ill effects become apparent. Taste is particularly relevant if vAL ratings of candidate drinks are close. In these situations a general rule of thumb is to go for the drink that isn't cider. 2. Individual tolerance: Individuals' biochemistries vary. Thus rates of metabolism may differ from drink-to-drink, even if ethanol % is similar. Exploitation (i.e. by drinking the most susceptible) can be more economical. 3. Mixing drinks: It is harder to metabolise two or more drinks at the same time. To increase toxicity mix drinks. The kings of the cross-reactivity world are whisky, wine and cider. 4. Concentration: Diluents allows quicker absorption into the bloodstream. Adding a mixer allows speedy alcohol effects. Higher % drinks have a longer lag period before drunkenness but this may allow the consumption of more alcohol units before falling down. 5. Volume: An obvious consideration is the bulk of buying necessary to avail of a good vAL rating. The smaller the unit volume, the easier it is to fine-tune expenditure on intoxication. 6. Interfering Substances: The presence of caffeine in Buckfast is a notable example of how extra chemicals may play a part in overall inebriation. The addition of illicit substances will not be covered here. 7. Social situation: Drink available in public places may offer increased social opportunities. Alternatively home drinking may be used to avoid conversation superfluous to drinking experience. 8. Time: Home-brew, the actual vALs champion (approx. 12.5 vAls), takes 3-4 weeks to brew. In life time is probably the most important commodity. Do consider length of off-licence journeys, closing times, expiry dates, and the inhibitory drinking effects of prolonged hangovers.