James O Mahoney spouts Wavin.
James O'Mahoney (D.J Wavin) is a solemn practitioner of the art of Wavin. His "as" lists
gained him access into the prestigious Wavin council. We of the ways of Wavin hail you.
As as as as He who walks in the ways of Pipe and all things
cylindrical must speak not the cliche but the revised version of O'Mahoney.
A bun is the lowest form of wheat Yes I know some are bit cryptic but bare in mind that this
is "high wavin" and may not suit everybody's palette.
Lazin' for a phrasin' For this list, legend has it, James swapped his unconscious
with his conscious and then focused his energy on a snail called "Christy's nipple".
The rest is wavin history.
One can short of a 64 million pack The "One can" list was
derived from a book of automatic writings
which he made after a two year long meditation in the mystical valley of Clondalane.
X over Jokes The snails did rush as the wine did brew and somewhere in between
the jokes did merge.
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As as as as as |
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as cunning as a fox-hunter
as nice as 3.1415926535 … … …
as fit as a fiddling accountant
as black as a coal-miners future
as black as the 10 of spades
as white as a balanced proportion of electromagnetic radiation of wavelength 400-700 nm
as king as "Will?"
as good as God
as good as "Goldfinger"
as frisky as a lamb-lover
as flippant as Philip
as friendly as my friend Lee
as gay as Chris
as mad as a hat-hater
as pretty as a pitcher of beer
as American as Christopher Columbus
as William Wallace as MacTion Man
as homeless as God
as fast as Buck
as sad as a lad with a bad dad
as spacious as the space bar on any computer keyboard
as phony as a fake mobile
as mysterious as Mephistopholes
as stuck as a bunny stuck on a sticky bun
as fit as an epileptic going for it
as happy as Larry the pig in shit
as unhappy as Unhappy after getting axed from The Eight Dwarves
as blind as a bath
as annoying as a 6 upside-down
as slick as a Spanish eel salesman
as tongue in cheek as a lesbian orgy
as well hung as a horse on a gallows
as dirty as a transexual dog
as wriggly as a wheel
as M.O.R. as the boy group "Squashed Hedgehog"
as enticing as what's behind door #3
as young as the thought of a gleam in an eye
as drunk as a drink
as queer as a pink clockwork orange-squeezer
as found as a pound on the ground
as helpful as the song "Help" from the album "Help"
as pallindromic as a cimord nillapsa
as contrary as a mule drinking Mule
as loud as the Big Bang
as bastard as Adam
as upset as John McEnroe
as me as you
as free as a birdie on a par four
as done as fun
as cruel as a cucumber
as puzzling as a truzzle
as busy as a bereaver
as busy as an E
as mpty as Humpty Dumpty
as brave as lying to a lion
as as as as
as invisible as a
as quiet as a
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A bun is the lowest form of wheat |
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A snitch in time saves crime
A slight ointment for sore eyes
A kite for soar eyes
Like a tip amongst troubled waiters
You can't pull the wool over my Iceland
Runs are the lowest form of shit
You've got to mind your Ps and Qs and Hs and Ys and Is and Xs and Ss and . . ..
Two cooks spoil the broth
Life begins at 40 winks
I woke up on the wrong side of the new leaf
You've so lucky you've got someone to count your lucky stars for you
There is no smoke without smoking like a chimney
Bob's not your aunt
It's reigning Catholics and dogma
The curly bird always asks for a perm
More fun than you can shake your dick at
I'd give an arm and a leg and an arm and a leg
Lager then life
Mum's the mumbled mother word
"Applied" always comes before "Awful"
The pen is lighter than the sword
Never fuck a gift horse in the mouth
I'm so hungry I could eat every horse
You can't teach an old dog
Where there's a willy there's a way
Where there's a Will there's a Bill
The bad wanker always blames his tool
A man is greater than some of his parts
Amen is greater than some of prayer starts
The best thing since unsliced bread
Humans never forget that an elephant never forgets
An elephant never forges t
Thinks like Michael Fish
Drinks like the ex-girlfriend that let Michael Fish get away .…… he was THIS BIG !!
A bird in Thailand is better than a didgeridoo in the Bush
I think therefore I cram
So hot you could fry an igloo
The light at the end of the tunnel is the light of the oncoming train
The light l at the end of the tunnel
Every crowd has a silver pining
Nice weather for duckweed
Nice weather for fucks
Heels over head with excitement
Were you a bairn in a barn?
13- lucky for some but not for mothers
It's like trying to find the eye of the needle that broke the camels back in a haystack
It's like trying to find a piece of hay in a needlestack
Familiarity breeds content and children
Let leaping hogs fly
Let peeping Toms pry
A woman's place is in the homo sapien genus
Bigger than Jesus on Calvary
Times fun when your having flies
There is no use crying over spoilt milk
Its no use in spoiling milk by spilling tears over it
Not enough broom to sweep a mat
Don't have a minotaur!
Slow but steady wins the "slow but steady" race every time
The way the crow flies to a row of crowing flies
Does a bear shit?
A cat has annoying lives
Out of the frying pan but still dead
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Cruisin' for a bruisin'
Waitin' for a b'atin'
Shoppin' for a boppin'
Requestin' a molestin'
Lookin' for a bookin'
Announcin' for a trouncin'
Applyin' for an annoyin'
Meanderin' for a slanderin'
Weavin' for a bereavin'
Stayin' for a slayin'
Callin' for a maulin'
Crowin' for a mowin'
Jellyin' for a wellyin'
Makin' for a flakin'
itchin' for a bitchin'
Deservin' a pervin'
Edgin' for a swedgin'
Brewin' for a Skewin'
howlin' for a scowlin'
Askin' for a caskin'
Routin' for a disputin'
Questionin' for a pesterin'
Fendin' for a endin'
Flatterin' for a batterin'
Skippin' for a whippin'
Anglin' for a manglin'
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One can short of a 64 million pack
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One ceponatime short of a fairytale beginning
One why short of a YMCA get-together
One Groundhog Day short of a Groundhog Day
One syllable short of a sent
One blackout short of a South Africa
One breakfast short of crashing into a "Slippery When Wet" sign
One amazing E short of an anagram magazine
One tampon short of a complaint
One banana short of a nunnery
One Crunchie short of a Friday
One hunch short of a Nancy Drew mystery
One hunchback short of a cathedral
One Short short of a Grandmaster's convention
One t short of cofeet
One Hokey Pokey short of abundance
One word short of a "one short of something" phraseh
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor, doctor
Doctor, doctor who?
Doctor, doctor there's a fly in my soup!
Paddy Niggerman, Paddy Jewman, and Paddy Lightbulbman walk into a bar and order some Kerry
soup.
"Waiter, waiter the fly in my soup looks like YO MOMA", said Paddy Niggerman.
"Spit it out! ", demanded Paddy Jewman
Paddy Lightbulbman continued eating, "That won't change me".
What do you get if you cross a road with a chicken?
-To the other side quicker than if you used a Lada.
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