This letter's to say |
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by Raymond Wilson |
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Dear Sir or Madam This letter’s to say Your property Stands bang in the way Of progress, and Will be knocked down On March the third At half-past one. There is no appeal Since the National Need Depends on more And still more speed And this, in turn Dear Sir or Madam Depends on half England Being tar-macadam But your house will- We are pleased to say – Be the fastest lane of the motorway Meanwhile the Borough Corporation Offer you new Accommodation Three miles away On the thirteenth floor (flat number Q 6824) But please take note The council regret No dog, cat, bird Or other pet: No noise permitted No singing in the bath (for permits to drink, or smoke or laugh Apply on form Z327) |
No children admitted Aged under eleven: No hawkers, tramps Or roof-top lunches; No opening doors To bible-punchers Failure to pay Your rent, when due Will lead to our evicting you The Council demand That you consent To the terms above When you pay your rent. Meanwhile we hope You will feel free To consult us Should there prove to be The slightest case Of difficulty With king regards Yours faithfully |