15th March, 2001
We all remember as children many years ago our
parents or grandparents told us stories when we went to bed, and
the one good thing about those stories was that they all had a
happy ending. Now that I’m a grandparent I find myself
continuing with that tradition . The following is not a true
story but a fairy story. One time, not long ago, a group of
people lived and worked in a big house somewhere in Dublin. A few
of them had fairy godfathers who gave them everything they wished
for and things were getting better all the time. However, they
too had heard fairy tales and they believed in them. One day a
kind man called them together and asked them did they believe in
the greatest fairy tale of all? There was silence from the people
in the room! The kind man told them to pray for rain, heavy rain,
and when the rain has ceased they should look to the sky, and
look for a giant mix of colours. The kind man suggested that they
form a search party and seek out this thing in the sky. “What
is this thing called, O’ kind one?”, they asked. “It
is called a rainbow,” he answered, “and at the end of
it you will find a pot of gold.”. “But,” he
cautioned, “If you do not spend the gold immediately, it
will turn into a monster and haunt you every night, and you will
forever curse the word rainbow.” The crowd formed a party
and eventually found a rainbow, and a pot of gold lay at the end
of it. They were so afraid that they decided to hide the pot of
gold, so they buried it in a foreign land, a land noted for its
lovely flowers and fine cattle. There it lay, undiscovered for
many years, while the seekers of rainbows prayed for more rain.
But it never came. Then “the kind one’s” words of
warning came true and when the gold was discovered, but the crowd
that buried it told the masses that it dd not belong to anyone
they know. “Somebody else must own it,” they cried. So
now the gold lies in the ground because nobody would touch it,
and the kind and wise one laughs at the greedy crowd who live in
fear of the monster who will soon come knocking on their door. (Do
not tell this fairy tale to anybody of a nervous disposition).
The following is not a fairy tale!! Car tax is set to increase
again!! Up to 6%. You’ve noticed I haven’t called it
road-tax. To call it road-tax would be an abolition of the truth.
And you know what? We’ll take it on the chin, because we’re
fools to believe that car-tax goes on the roads. Did I read last
year that only 9% of car-tax money collected goes on roads.
Perhaps the other 91% goes on “chasing rainbows”.
Did I hear it correctly? The government is going to outlaw
cigarette 10 packets. They figure it will stop people smoking. I
think not. People will buy 20 cigarette packs instead, thereby
giving the state more in tax. Cut down on people drinking, no
more half pints, glasses or bottles. From now on, only pints! On
second thoughts make it quarts only. That’ll stop them
smoking and drinking.
The daffodils are in full bloom and certain parts of Douglas are
beautiful. Lets keep it that way. Some people assume that they
have a right to take these daffodils, wrong!! If you’re
caught taking them from Council or Corporation property you’re
in trouble. So if you want flowers, buy them! Leave the other
ones for us to admire.
During the next few weeks you will se adverts in the national
newspapers seeking Irish people to work in London. Nothing
unusual about that you may say, but the people placing the
adverts represent the London Metropolitan Police. The starting
rate of pay in Ireland for a Garda is £13,000 per annum. In the
UK the starting rate is £23,000 - Big difference. Could we now
see Paddy the Peeler walking the streets of London?
The biggest night of the year is on the way. Sunday 25th March is
Mothers Day and we have put together a show that will take some
beating. The Dickie Rock band and the Kieran Kramer band provide
the music for the Douglas Rose Selection night at the Rochestown
Park Hotel. I’ve spoken to most of the Rose contestants and
they are a lovely group of girls. The judges on the night are
going to have a tough job. I wish them all well.
Congratulations to local man Jim O’Flynn. His company ‘Munster
Specialist Cleaning Service’ is going from strength to
strength. I’ve seen his cleaning machines at work here in
Douglas at the recent weekend cleanup. So Councillors, we could
do with a couple of these machines in our area. It’s time we
spend a few bob on Douglas, and don’t forget the Douglas
Weekly motto, “Support Local”.
Finally, congratulations to Frank O’Reilly who was re-elected
chairman of St. Columba’s Hall, and to Brendan Heffernan,
elected Vice-Chairman. The Hall is in good hands, wasn’t it
always? Happy St. Patrick’s Day, drive carefully, belt up,
and hope to see you in Crosshaven at the ‘Merries on St.
Patrick’s Day.
Bye for now,
Michael O’Hanlon.
PS. The winners of The Little Sisters of the Assumption Mission
in Brazil competition, St. Patrick’s Eve Social in Jurys
Hotel are Mary Fitzpatrick,. Bishopstown, Eleanor O’Riordan,
Monkstown and Tom O’Mahony, Kinsale Road.
My joke of the week: Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot
most of the time. which produced an impressive set of callouses
on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather
frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him what?
A super-calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis!
