8th November, 2001
Regarding my piece about the public toilets in
Garretstown being closed on a beautiful warm October bank holiday
Sunday, I met a reader who told me her story. She too went to
Garretstown some time ago, also on a Sunday, and found the
toilets closed. She rang the council office in Kinsale and was
told that the public toilets have to remain closed, due to
vandalism. Picture the scene, it's Cork City, on a Sunday morning.
A group of vandals hold a meeting to decide on their plan for the
day. Eventually, after debating for over an hour, a decision is
reached, and it's unanimous. The plan of action is an attack on
the toilets in Garretstown!! But when they get there, their plan
is thwarted, the toilets are padlocked. Good has triumphed over
evil. Seriously, why couldn't a council officer drive from
Kinsale, open them at noon, and return that night at 7pm and lock
them. The same situation happened in Fountainstown last Sunday.
Both toilets locked. I saw a man walking towards them on the day,
and finding them locked he ran back to his car, with his bladder
probably singing the old Queen song, "I Want to Break Free"!
The portaloo is gone, Donald Rumsfeld borrowed it to drop on a
cave in Kabul.
How many of you knew that Monday, November 5th, was "National
Legalise Cannabis Day"? I didn't, until we in the 'Weekly
office got a letter from a Luke "Ming" Flanagan. We
were shocked, saddened, and very angry when we read the letter.
Ming told us that he had sent a joint to every member of the
Oireachtas. Some of you would say that most of them went to pot
years ago. When I read the letter I ran to the waste basket for
the envelope, but there was nothing in it, and that's why we were
angry. We rang the Dail, to be greeted by a tape of Peter, Paul
and Mary, singing "Puff the Magic Dragin". Further down
in Mings letters he tells us he is going to give Minister Eoin
Ryan a whole cannabis plant!! So typical, a minster gets a plant,
a TD gets a joint, and the poor county councillors don't even get
a whiff!! Ain't life a drag. All this talk of drugs would give
one a headache. Questiontime: Who is the patron saint of
headaches? Answer: Mother Mary Aikenhead!!
The time is 1.45am on Wednesday morning, and RTE has been showing
Oireachtas report, followed by Oireachtas Committee now for the
past two hours!! Can anybody tell me why this public waste of
time and money is inflicted upon us? It's almost as bad as the
Beckett season of plays, and to think, RTE wanted an extra £50
on to their licence fee!!
The good news for air passengers is that Concorde is back, and
can cross the Atlantic in just over three hours, about the same
time it takes a motorist to get from Donnybrook Hill to the
Douglas Road at 8.45 in the morning!! Speaking of the morning,
it's 2.30am now and the Oireachtas Committee are still on. Austin
Currie looks as if he's gone to sleep, Sean Doherty's face looks
very red, high blood pressure, too much sun, or a bad make-up
girl in RTE, or all three!!There are about 50 screens turned on
in the tribunal room, but only about 10 people there. One woman
told the chairman she couldn't read her notes because she broke
her glasses!! What are the odds that Denis O'Brien is sitting in
his Villa in the sun, and is glued to this show via satellite
link? About the same odds as hearing Westlife sing live.
By now most of you are familiar with the Homes Design exhibition
held annually in Rochestown Park Hotel. One of the biggest
exhibitions in Ireland is set to come to Douglas again in
February 2002. Organiser Peter Crowley tells me that all the
stands are fully booked, which makes me think that this one is
going to be even bigger and better than the previous one. Off
course, the Douglas Weekly will have its usual stand, roll on
Feb, 2002.
A few weeks ago I mentioned that the zebra crossing at the
community park is so badly lit that the pedestrians cannot be
seen crossing at night. Now both the flashing beacons are not
working, which makes it even more dangerous. A lot of elderly
people and children use this crossing, and surely their safety is
a priority. Local representatives take note.
To the reader who keeps on asking me, "Any news from
McDonalds?" The answer is no. No telephone call, no letter,
nothing. Perhaps I'm only a customer who got a Big Mac with two
bites out of it, or perhaps I'm dreaming, and someday I'll wake
up and discover it really didn't happen, and Ronald and I will be
buddies again, who knows!!
Bye for now,
Michael O'Hanlon.
