In the style of a Sunday sermon, this one is best read aloud, slowly, with the stereotypical voice of a bored vicar...... (apologies to those of my readers whose first language is not English!)
Paul spent many days and many nights in the land of the Emperor, and he did see many wonderous sights and he did visit many wonderous and peaceful places; but much of it was also long and arduous; for the land was filled with many strange people who spoke with a strange tongue and ate strange food; and they did gather round him and stare at him wherever he went, for he was strange to them too.
And it came to pass after travelling for many days, that Paul arrived at the top of the mountain; and before him did stretch a great plain of grass for many miles and as far as the eye could see; and on this plain rode the Wild Men who did wear thick skins and big hats who did call themselves the Men of Tibet. And the Wild Men did herd great hairy horn'd beasts and they did call these beasts yaks; and Paul did see many yaks and he saw that they were indeed hairy.
Paul did rest in the town of the Wild Men for some days; and he did watch them coming and going on their horses; and he did listen to their strange language; and he did eat their strange food; and he did drink their utterly bizarre salted butter tea, and he saw that it was good - in a healthy wholesome sort of way, but that it would take some getting used to; and he did learn their sports; and he did challenge them to a game of pool, which they did win flat-out - they having little else to do during the day but practice; and he did pay for the game with coins from his purse and amongst the Wild Men there was much rejoicing.
At last the time came for him to leave the Wild Men and their yaks and journey onward to the great temple that is called Labrang. And it was a long and arduous journey, and there were many others on the great wagon and many of them were sick, with evil spirits in their chests and they did cough and cough to expel these spirits, but they were weak and the spirits were strong and they tried in vain; and Paul did shelter himself from these spirits for they filled the air and gathered in little pools on the floor of the wagon.
But the temple, that is called Labrang, was indeed wonderous. Many colourful buildings and rob'd monks did fill the valley, and many of the Wild Men and the Wild Women did encircle the temple endlessly, muttering to themselves and spinning colourful prayer drums. And Paul did wonder at them and did watch them and did join them in their worship for they did invite him to - gently prodding him in the ribs and indicating with cheery toothless grins that his lily-livered attempts at spinning the prayer drums was really not good enough and that he'd better get some speed up of there was going to be trouble; and Paul did comply; and he did spin the prayer drums faster; and amongst the Wild Men and the Wild Women there was much rejoicing.
And Paul did stay with the pilgrims for many days; and he did learn their ways; and he did learn of their many gods: the great Avalokiteshvara, the god of compassion, who did sprout many arms and many heads when faced with the problems of the world and who did come among his people as a great Lama who they call the Dalai Lama; and who fled his land many years ago for fear of the anger of the Emperor; and Paul did learn of Amitabha, the god of infinite light who did also come amongst his people as a great Lama who they call the Panchen Lama and who was taken by the Emperor and thrown in his dungeon where he stayed for many years and where he did die and who came again as a small boy and who was taken again by the Emperor and nobody knows his fate. And Paul did learn of the love the people did hold for their Lamas and they did speak much of them, but they would not speak ill of the Emperor for they did fear him. Many did say that he was dead and lying still at the heart of his Great City, but many others said he lived on for little had changed for them in their lives. Paul had a great love for the Wild Men and the Wild Women and did stay with them for many days.
When the time came for him to leave, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth, for Paul had crossed the mountains without the full permission of the Emperor. The Emperor, or the princes who ruled in his stead, had decreed that no foreigner should cross the mountains without first buying a bogus insurance policy. This was one of the ways the Emperor exacted taxes on travellers from across the seas and was a source of great frustration to many. But none of the merchants or the people of the city Paul had come from had been able to sell him such a policy for none knew where the office did lie, it having been demolished. So Paul did travel without such a policy and all had gone well until this, his last day; and the officials were very insistent; and many people did gather and stare, for this was strange to them; and the official got more insistent; and Paul did open his purse and did present the official with some small golden coins; and the official dropped his principles and did deliver a ticket. And there was much rejoicing.
And so on he journeyed for a day and a night until he reached the Great City of the Emperor. For Paul was eager to meet with the Emperor and to see his wonderous palaces and his great wall. And the city was indeed wonderous, filled with wide streets and tall buildings and great squares and many people; and many of them did stare and call out to him, for he was strange even to them. In the greatest of the squares, many did gather to see the Emperor; and Paul did join them. The Emperor did not look like an Emperor, for he wore no crown; and he did not act like an Emperor, for he did not stand majestically above his people, but rather lay, silent, still and waxen, staring upwards. But there was no doubt that he was indeed an Emperor to his subjects as they filed past him, many bearing flowers and all in silence. And his image did adorn many walls and great buildings and it did adorn he great square where his brave army did fight in his defence against a disloyal rabble-rousing bunch of ungrateful students and did crush their revolt and did disperse them to the winds and nobody knows of their fates. His loyal army ensured that he did remain the Emperor, the unmoving, unspeaking Emperor.
Paul left the Emperor's presence, impressed by how he could rule on image alone, without moving or speaking, and he did visit many of the palaces and holy places of the Great City, but none did impress him as much as had the great temple that is called Labrang; and Paul did see many people, but none did impress him so much as the Wild Men and the Wild Women. And Paul did see many images of the Emperor, but none of the great Lama, for the Emperor forbade them. Some said that the Emperor feared the great Lama, but many would not speak of either. And Paul did visit the Emperor's Great Wall; and he did wonder at it, for it was indeed great; and he did walk on it for many hours, for it was long.
Paul did tire and feal weary after many days in the land of the Emperor; and a voice came from within, and the voice did say: 'Get thee to the Colony wherein lieth great comfort and good times and real coffee'; and he did. And he journeyed for a day and a night until he came to a gate; and he did join the many people at the gate; and he did come to meet the man with the hat and the stars on his lapel; and he did greet the man, and the man did greet him, and the man did say 'Get thee hence and fill out a departure card and queue again'; and Paul did get hence and he did fill out a departure card and he did queue again; and the man did let him through the gate and into the Colony. And the people of the Colony did greet him with smiles and they did provide him with much comfort and they did brew for him real coffee; and he did taste the coffee; and he saw that it was good.
And there was much rejoicing.....