'Twas the night before Christmas
When all through Tolka Park
Not a football was stirring
All around it was dark

Shelbourne, they sat proudly
Top of the league table
No others could beat them
Not one team was able

When out on the pitch
There arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bar-stool
To see what was the matter

When, what through my
bloodshot eyes, should appear.
But a massive big sleigh
Hauled by a million reindeer

With an gi-normous driver
In a furry red hat
I knew in a moment
It must be Santa Pat

And so to the top
Of the stand he did clamber
With the help of a crane
And a hydraulic ladder

And then, in a twinkling
I heard on the roof
The pounding and thumping
Of each heavy hoof

As I drew in my breath
I thought I heard thunder
When he fell from a height
As the roof burst asunder.

He was dressed all in sackcloth
Just like an old sinner
You could see from the stains
What he had for his dinner

He had a large face
and a hulking great belly
That shook, when he laughed
like a skip full of jelly.

He was chubby and plump,
a right jolly old elf
And I laughed when I saw him
in spite of myself

His eyes -- how they twinkled!
his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses,
his nose a Datsun Cherry

A wink of his eye
and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know
I had nothing to dread

Sez he, now I'm starving
I must feed my face
In case I'm in danger
Of vanishing without trace

A bag full of goodies
Hung over his back
And he looked like a peddler
just opening his pack.

His droll little mouth
It drew up like a bow,
And the colour drained away
as his face turned to snow

He rummaged in a panic
With despair in his eyes
And then he demanded
Who ate all the pies ?

But then he remembered
He'd just had a snack
Before he was leaving
That swamp by the Camac

I'm here to surrender
The title's all yours
The Real Reds have won it
Yiz dirty feckin hoors

Sez he, it's all over
I'll bid you good night
I'm off to spread tarmac
O'er the Stadium of Blight

But I heard him exclaim
ere he drove out of sight
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL,
AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT."