 |
Jokes | |
| Will I tell you a
dirty joke? The pig jumped in the mud! |
||
| Teacher: Use the word
centimetre in a sentence. Boy: My aunty flew in from America and my Dad was centimetre. |
||
| Why did the robber
take a bath? Because he wanted to make a clean getaway. |
||
| This man started a job in the zoo. On his first day he was working with the fish. He stood on some of them so on his way out he threw them into the lions. On his second day he was working with the chimps. He feed some of them poisoned food and killed them so on his way out he threw them into the lions. The next day a new lion came in he asked was it good in there and the lions said "It's alright, they give you fish and chimps." | ||
| What do you get if
you cross ants and your plants? Ants in your plants! |
||
| What did the bar man
say when the horse walked into the bar? Why the long face? |
||
| What did the man say
when he walked into the bar? Ouch! |
||
| Two birds from Belfast were flying over Dublin. One bird went "Quack!" The other said "I am going as quack as I can." | ||
| What do you call a
dog with wings? A Skye Terrier. |
||
| Why did the nurse
tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills. |
||
| Did you hear about
the lady with two children? One was a budding genius and the other was a blooming idiot. |
||
| Where do bad
vocalists come from? Singer-poor. |
||
| 1st snake: I hope
we're not poisonous. 2nd snake: Why? 1st snake: Because I bite my tail. |
||
| What is round, white
and laughs a lot? A tickled onion. |
||
| Did you hear about
the singer who fell through the floor? It was just a stage he was going through. |
||
| Did you hear about
the crazy hitchhiker? He got up early to miss the traffic. |
||
| An apple a day keeps the doctor away ...... if it's aimed correctly! | ||
| Why did King Kong
climb the Empire State Building? Because he wanted to catch a plane. |
||
