Unusual Quotes
"Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your
nursing home."
"Beauty is in the eye of the beer
holder..."
"There are 3 kinds of people: those who
can count & those who can't."
"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long
word?"
"Don't use a big word where a diminutive
one will suffice."
"Every morning is the dawn of a new
error..."
"A flying saucer results when a nudist
spills his coffee."
"For people who like peace and quiet a
phoneless cord."
"I can see clearly now, the brain is
gone..."
"The beatings will continue until morale
improves."
"I used up all my sick days, so I'm
calling in dead."
"Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay."
"Madness takes its toll. Please have exact
change."
"Proofread carefully to see if you any
words out."
"There cannot be a crisis today; my
schedule is already full."
"I'd explain it to you, but your brain
would explode."
"Ever stop to think, and forget to start
again?"
"A conclusion is simply the place where
you got tired of thinking."
"I don't have a solution but I admire the
problem."
"Don't be so open-minded your brains will
fall out."
"If at first you DO succeed, try not to
look astonished!"
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice
doggie!'... till you can find a rock."
"Diplomacy - the art of letting someone
have your way."
"If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do
the rest have to drown too?"
"If things get any worse, I'll have to ask
you to stop helping me."
"If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to
fill out the necessary forms."
"Don't look back, they might be gaining on
you."
"It's not hard to meet expenses, they're
everywhere."
"Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to
apply."
"Look out for #1. Don't step in #2
either."
"Budget: A method for going broke
methodically."
"Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll
break it."
"Shin: A device for finding furniture in
the dark."
"Do witches run spell checkers?"
"Demons are a Ghouls best Friend."
"Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights
wesewved."
"Dain bramaged."
"Department of Redundancy Department"
"Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in
Pooh D'Etat!"
"What has four legs and an arm? A happy
pit bull."