Women's English
a. Yes = No
b. No = Yes
c. Maybe = No
d. I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.
e. We need = I want
f. It's your decision = The correct decision
should be obvious by now.
g. Do what you want = You'll pay for this
later.
h. We need to talk = I need to complain
i. Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.
j. I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
k. You're ... so manly = You need a shave
and you sweat a lot.
L. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is
sex all you ever think about?
m. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have
flabby thighs.
n. This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want
a new house.
o. I want new curtains = and carpeting, and
furniture, and wallpaper...
p. Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang
it there!
q. I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost
asleep.
r. Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for
something expensive.
s. How much do you love me? = I did
something today you're really not going to like.
t. I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off
your shoes and find a good game on TV.
u. Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
w. Are you listening to me! = Too late, you're
dead.
x. Was that the baby? = Why don't you get
out of bed until he goes to sleep.
y. I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling
because I think this is important.
"" = Nothing
AA. Nothing = Everything
AB. Everything = My PMS is acting up
AC. Nothing, really = It's just that you're
such an asshole