"What are the thirty-nine steps? Come on, answer up! What are the thirty-nine steps?"
        - Richard Hannay (Robert Donat), "The Thirty-Nine Steps"

"Wait a minute! Wait a minute! You ain't heard nothin' yet."
        - Al Jolson, with the first spoken dialogue in movie history, "The Jazz Singer" (1927)

"In Italy under the Borgias, they had 30 years of warfare,terror,murder & bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, DaVinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love and 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The Cuckoo Clock."
        - Harry Lime (Orson Welles),"The Third Man"

"I know what you're thinking, did he fire six shots or only five ? To tell you the truth in all this confusion I forgot myself. Now being that this is a .44 magnum; the most powerful handgun in the world and can take your head clean off, you have to ask yourself a question, do I feel lucky? Well do ya feel lucky, punk?"
        - Callaghan (Clint Eastwood), "Dirty Harry"

"You wanna get Capone? Here's how you get him. He pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way, and that's how you get Capone!"
        - Malone (Sean Connery), "The Untouchables"

"We went seeking greatness in movies, and were most often disappointed. We waited for a movie like the one we wanted to make, and secretly wanted to live."
        - from Jean-Luc Godard's "Masculine-Feminine"

# SECTIONS
 

~ Bad Guys	~ Trainspotting
~ War Films (moved to new page)	~ As Good As It Gets
~ Historical Films (moved to new page)	~ Barcelona
~ Comedies	~ Canadian Bacon
~ Dramas	~ Wonder Boys
~ Profound Quotes	~ The Commitments
~ Romance	~ Mallrats
~ Misc	~ Beautiful Girls
~ James Bond	~ Teen Films

# WHY DO THE BAD GUYS GET THE BEST LINES?

"We do not tolerate failure, Number 3."
        - Ernst Blofeld, "From Russia with Love"

"Twelve seconds. One day we must invent a faster working venom."
        - Ernst Blofeld, "From Russia with Love"

"It is so obviously a trap and my reading of the British mentality is that they always treat a trap as a challenge."
        - Number 5, "From Russia with Love"

"Choose your next witticism carefully, Mr. Bond. It may be your last."
        - Auric Goldfinger, "Goldfinger"

"Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times it's enemy action, Mr Bond."
        - Auric Goldfinger, after Bond disrupts his operations, "Goldfinger"

"Do you expect me to talk?"
"No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die."
        - Auric Goldfinger & James Bond, "Goldfinger"

"I've seen way too many Bond movies to know that you never reveal all the details of your plan, no matter how close you may think you are to winning."
        - Azrael, "Dogma"

"I'm the bad guy? How did that happen?"
       - Michael Douglas, "Falling Down"

"If something's worth doing it's worth doing for money."
       - Gordon Gecko, "Wall Street"

"The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works."
        - Gordon Gecko, "Wall Street"

"How did you catch me, Will? "
"You had disadvantages."
"What disadvantages? "
"You're insane."
        - Will & Hannibal Lecter, "Manhunter"

"I shall not call on you Clarice, the world is far more interesting with you in it, but I really must be going : I'm having an old friend for dinner..."
        - Hannibal Lecter, "The Silence of the Lambs"

"You want money? What kind of terrorists are you?"
"Who said we were terrorists?"
        - Hans Gruber, "Die Hard"

"When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer - the benefits of a classical education."
        - Hans Gruber, "Die Hard"

"After all your posturing, all your speeches, you're nothing but a common thief."
"I am an exceptional thief, Mrs. McClane. And since I'm moving up to kidnapping, you should be more polite."
        - Holly McClane & Hans Gruber, "Die Hard"

"Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? I always ask that of my prey. I just like the way it sounds..."
        - The Joker, "Batman"

"Pop quiz, hotshot. There's a bomb on a bus. Once the bus goes 50 miles an hour, the bomb is armed. If it drops below 50, it blows up. What do you do? What do you do?"
        - Speed

"Was that really necessary?"
"Necessary? No, it was fun."
        - Kingpin, to Bullseye, after he despatches a security guard, "Daredevil"

"Is there anything else?"
"Yeah, I want a bloody costume!"
        - Kingpin and Bullseye, "Daredevil"

# COMEDY

"I dont advise a haircut man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hair are your aerials, they pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight."
        - Whitnail & I

"Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules."
        - Walter Sobchak, "The Big Lebowski"

"And, you know, he's got emotional problems, man."
"You mean... beyond pacifism?"
        - The Dude and Walter Sobchak, "The Big Lebowski"

"Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos."
        - Walter Sobchak, "The Big Lebowski"

"Are these the Nazis, Walter?"
"No, Donny, these men are nihilists. There's nothing to be afraid of."
        - Donnie & Walter Sobchak, "The Big Lebowski"

"Jackie Treehorn treats objects like women, man."
        - The Dude, "The Big Lebowski"

"She's not my special lady friend, man. I'm just helping her conceive."
        - The Dude, "The Big Lebowski"

"I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland."
        - Manhattan Murder Mystery

"Neighbors? In twelve years in Los Angeles, have you ever seen a neighbor?"
        - "Death Becomes Her"

"I remind you: everything you say will be held against you."
"Well, in that case: Marlene Dietrich!"
        - Crazy House (1943)

"Shut up! I am the author. You are the audience. I outrank you!"
        - Franz Liebkind, author of "Springtime for Hitler", The Producers.

"Shut up! I'm having a rhetorical conversation."
        - Max Bialystock, producer of "Springtime for Hitler", The Producers.

"I'm condemned by a society that demands success when all I can offer is failure!"
       - Max Bialystock, "The Producers"

"If I'm not back in five minutes, wait longer."
        - Ace Ventura

"And stop referring to dinner as "The recent unpleasantness"
        - The Lockhorns

"So what do you do for a living?"
"I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.
        - Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"

The clue obviously lies in the word "cheddar." Let's see now. Seven letters. Rearranged, they come to, let me see: "Rachedd." "Dechdar." "Drechad." "Chaderd" - hello, chaderd! Unless I'm very much mistaken, chaderd is the Egyptian word meaning "to eat fat." Now we're getting somewhere!
        - Sigerson Holmes, "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes' Smarter Brother"

"No, no! I will not take your filthy stolen money!"
"Well, then. It looks like you're really up shit creek. <SMACK> Ow!"
"I beg your pardon. What did you say?"
"I offered to help you. You refused our money. So, I said, "I guess you're really up shit creek" <SMACK> Ow!"
        - The Blues Brother meet Mother Superior

"Quid Pro Quo."
"What does that mean?"
"It means I'm pretentious."
        - Loaded Weapon

"Mind if I drive?"
"Not if you don't mind me clawing at the dash and shrieking like a cheerleader."
        - Sam and Max

"What's wrong Abby?"
"Nothing a rooftop and an AK47 cant solve."
        - Abby, "The Truth About Cats And Dogs"

"Celine, I thought we'd agreed, no cliches."
        - A Life Less Ordinary

"You know, Scotland has its own martial arts. Yeah, it's called Fuck You. It's mostly just head butting and then kicking people when they're on the ground."
        - Charlie Mackenzie, "So I Married An Axe Murderer"

"Do you actually like haggis?"
"No, I think it's repellent in every way. In fact, I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. "
        - Harriet & Charlie, "So I Married An Axe Murderer"

"Your battles are hundreds of years behind you. All your heroes are statues."
        - Jon, in 'dead' Scotland, "Gregory's Two Girls"

Archie [ threateningly ] : I used to box for Oxford.
Otto [ more so ] : I used to kill for the CIA.
        - A Fish Called Wanda

"We did not lose Vietnam! It was a tie!"
"The chip. The British contribution to world cuisine."
        - Otto, A Fish Called Wanda

"Aristotle is not Belgian, the central message of Buddism is not 'Every man for himself', and the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up."
        - A Fish Called Wanda

"What are the chances that me and you would have a chance together?"
"Not good."
"What, like 10 to 1, 100 to 1?"
"More like a million to 1."
"So, you're saying there's a chance? YES! "
        - Dumb & Dumber

"Where you headed?"
"Don't know, but between here and there there's gonna be a bar."
        - Harry Hinkle and 'Boom Boom' Jackson, "The Fortune Cookie"

"Guys! Make me 200 cappuccinos! Bring me the best one!"
        - Jack Wyatt, "Bewitched"

"Sometimes deep down there is no deep down."
        - Iris Smythson, descibing actors, "Bewitched"

"Wake up, it's not the time to sleep now."
        - Alexandria, to Roy, "The Fall"

"Grandpa, am I pretty?"
"You are the most beautiful girl in the world."
"You're just saying that."
"No! I'm madly in love with you and it's not because of your brains or your personality."
        - Olive and Grandpa, "Little Miss Sunshine"

"What did he say?"
"I'll tell you when I regain consciousness."
        - Sheryl and Richard, after a close call with the law, "Little Miss Sunshine"

"What is true love?"
"True love is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another."
"Well, it's a little cheesy but I like it."
        - Claire and John, "Wedding Crashers"

# DRAMA

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist..."
        - The Usual Suspects

"I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule."
        - Randal, "Clerks"

"This ain't no game. Real guns. Real bullets. It's dangerous."
"Dangerous is my middle name."
"Mine is "Cornelius", and if you tell anyone, I'll kill you."
        - Joe Hallenback (Bruce Willis), "The Last Boy Scout"

"Ask me what I want to change about this moment."
"I dunno. What do you want to change about this moment?"
"Nothing."
        - Tom Ripley (Matt Damon) & Peter Smith-Kingsley (Jack Davenport), "The Talented Mr. Ripley"

"The thing with Dickie... it's like the sun shines on you, and it's glorious. And then he forgets you and it's very, very cold."
        - Marge Sherwood, "The Talented Mr. Ripley"

"God, don't you want to f*ck every woman you see at least once?"
        - Freddie Miles, "The Talented Mr. Ripley"

"Well, whatever you do, however terrible, however hurtful, it all makes sense, doesn't it, in your head. You never meet anybody that thinks they're a bad person."
        - Tom Ripley, "The Talented Mr. Ripley"

"You don't have to be nice to her, just nicer."
        - Victor to Dolores, "Heavy"

"Oh my God."
"You look in the mirror, you don't like what you see, don't believe it. You look in my eyes, Natalie, I'm the only mirror you're ever gonna need."
        - Nathalie and Bernie, surveying the damage, "The Cooler"

"Beauty in life may come from makeup, or what have you, but in death, you have to fall back on character."
        - Martha, "A Woman's Tale"

"I have this condition."
       - Leonard Shelby, "Memento"

"What's the last thing that you do remember?"
"My wife..."
"That's sweet."
"...dying."
        - Natalie & Leonard, "Memento"

"We all need mirrors to remind ourselves who we are."
        - Leonard Shelby, "Memento"

"You shouldn't knock misdemeanors."
"Oh, but it's small stuff. It gets so boring."
"It's all about small stuff. You know, small lies, small mistakes. People give themselves away, same in misdemeanors as they do on murder cases. It's just human nature. Aren't you gonna write that down?"
        - Detectives Dormer & Burr, "Insomnia"

"Why do you do it?"
"I don't do it for the money. For the adrenalin, and because, like you, I'm interested in people.
Yeah, you can tell a lot about people from their stuff. How old would you say these people are?"
"Don't know."
"You can tell a lot from the futon for a start. Young people have futons... And they've got one laundry bag, which means they're probably very used to each other... Look at the books. They're college educated...  You can tell more from their music... when they go back and buy all this stuff from the shelves with the insurance money, they'll have to think for the first time in a long time... why they wanted all this stuff, what it's for. You take it away, and you show them what they had."
        - Bill and Cobb, on why he breaks into houses, "Following"

"You were a schemer. You had plans. Look where it got you. I just did what I do best-I took your plan and turned it on itself. Look what I have done to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple bullets. Nobody panics when the expected people get killed. Nobody panics when things go according to plan, even if the plans are horrifying. If I tell the press that tomorrow a gangbanger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will get blown up, nobody panics. But when I say one little old mayor will die, everyone loses their minds! Introduce a little anarchy, you upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I am an agent of chaos. And you know the thing about chaos, Harvey? It's fair."
        - The Joker, to DA Harvey Dent, "The Dark Knight"

"Let me get this straight: You think that your client, one of the wealthiest, most powerful men in the world, is secretly a vigilante who beats criminals to a pulp with his bare hands. And your plan is to blackmail this person? Good luck."
        - Lucius Fox, to an inquisitive accountant, "The Dark Knight"

"It uses sonar to give you a real-time image of the surroundings."
"Using sonar to see? Just like a..." [begins to say 'Bat' then pauses]
"Like a submarine Mr. Wayne, like a submarine."
        - Lucius Fox and Bruce Wayne, "The Dark Knight"

"I read once about a woman whose secret fantasy was to have an affair with an artist. She thought he would really see her. He would see every curve, every line, every indentation and love them because they were part of the beauty that made her unique."
        - Ben Willis, artist, trading time for "Cashback"

"When I looked at Tanya Greene, I didn't just see her. I felt her."
        - Ben, recalling a schoolboy crush, "Cashback"

"Matt said he slept with you. So you didn't?"
"No, of course not! What do you take me for? ...Did he say if I was any good?"
"I think it was the best sex he's never had."
        - Ben and Sharon, "Cashback"

"The bad news is that time flies. The good news... is that you're the pilot."
        - Ben, "Cashback"

"I hate my life."
"I hate your life, too."
        - Lana & Brandon, "Boys Don't Cry"

"If you do this thing, you'll be lost, somewhere so deep you will never find yourself."
        - Father Horvak, to Frankie Dunn, "Million Dollar Baby"

"Sometimes the best way to deliver a punch is to step back... But step back too far and you ain't fighting at all."
        - Scrap, "Million Dollar Baby"

"Seems there are Irish people everywhere, or people who want to be."
        - Scrap, "Million Dollar Baby"

"Feels like the whole world is getting younger."
        - Walter, after a spell 'inside', "The Woodsman"

"I want you to die slow. I want you to die every day for the rest of your life."
        - Brad Jnr, "At Close Range"

"You know that feeling you get... that you didn't ask to be brought into the world? Well now that you're here, who's asking you to stay?"
        - Francis, "Exotica"

"You'd make a great poker player, kid."
        - Mitchell Stephens to Nicole, "The Sweet Hereafter"

"When I say something which deserves consideration and you respond without thinking, how do you feel?"
"I feel fine."
"I thought you might feel stupid."
        - Hera and Noah, "The Adjuster"

"They have everything they want, or they have the means to have everything they want, but they don't know what they need."
        - Bubba, on the characters in his film, "The Adjuster"

"People are vulnerable when they lose meaning. They do stupid things."
        - David to Raffi, "Ararat"

"All I ever wanted was for someone to say 'I love you' and not want anything for it."
"Somebody will."
        - Sandra Anderson and Buddy French, in "Wilby Wonderful"

"What do you see when you look at me?"
        - Buddy, to his wife Carol, "Wilby Wonderful"

"Patrick!"
"What? I'm greeting him like a brother."
"You're being obnoxious."
"Yeah, well, exactly."
        - Jenny and Patrick Wheeler, "Last Night"

"As soon as they hear that the world is ending, they rush out and try and hook up with someone, like it was closing time... I mean, I know in my heart that I'm not in a meaningful relationship right now. I'm not with a woman that I love, and I can deal with that. I just feel that now is not the time to compromise."
"There's something to be said for human companionship."
        - Patrick and Sandra, "Last Night"

"If you gotta go, might as well be coming."
        - Craig's philosophy, "Last Night"

"I'm not gonna let this world take my life."
        - Sandra, taking matters into her own hands, "Last Night"

"Tell me something to make me love you. Tell me your big tragedy. About the girl you loved
who ran away or died."
"...She taught me how I could love."
        - Sandra to Patrick, "Last Night"

"In a way, I feel kind of privileged. I mean, it's the biggest thing that ever happened, and we're gonna be there. I mean, no one was there to witness the beginning, but we're gonna be there
at the end."
        - Patrick, "Last Night"

"God, it's times like this when I really miss the night."
        - Patrick, "Last Night"

"A great numb feeling washes over me as I let go of the past and look forward to the future. Pretend to be a vampire. I don't really need to pretend, because it's who I am, an emotional vampire. I've just come to expect it. Vampires are real. That I was born this way. That I feed off of other people's real emotions. Search for this night's prey. Who will it be?"
        - Sean Bateman, "The Rules of Attraction"

"Are you happy or sad?"
"Well I'm not sad."
"You don't look happy."
"But do I look good?"
"Always."
        - Clay and Blair, "Less Than Zero"

"You don't belong here man — these people are assholes!"
        - Rip, welcoming Clay to a party, "Less Than Zero"

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."
        - Pulp Fiction or Ezekiel 25:17

You can't help but compare yourself gainst the oldtimers. Can't help but wonder how they would've operated these times. There was this boy I sent to the gas chamber at Huntsville here a while back. My arrest and my testimony. He killed a fourteen-year-old girl. Papers said it was a crime of passion but he told me there wasn't any passion to it. Told me that he'd been planning to kill somebody for about as long as he could remember. Said that if they turned him out he'd do it again. Said he knew he was going to hell. Be there in about fifteen minutes. I don't know what to make of that. I surely don't. The crime you see now, it's hard to even take its measure. It's not that I'm afraid of it. I always knew you had to be willing to die to even do this job - not to be glorious. But I don't want to push my chips forward and go out and meet something I don't understand. You can say it's my job to fight it, but I don't know what it is anymore. More than that, I don't want to know. A man would have to put his soul at hazard. He would have to say, "O.K., I'll be part of this world."
        - Sheriff Ed Tom Bell, opening "No Country For Old Men"

"It sounds like these old boys died'a natural causes — natural to the line of work that is."
        - Sheriff Ed Tom Bell, investigating a drug deal gone wrong, "No Country For Old Men"

"What the f**k is that?"
"This is a shotgun, Sol."
"It's a f**king anti-aircraft gun, Vincent."
        - Vinny and Sol, "Snatch"

"11:15, restate my assumptions : 1. Mathematics is the language of nature; 2. Everything around us can be represented and understood by numbers. 3. If you graph these numbers, patterns emerge. Therefore: There are patterns everywhere in nature."
        - Maximillian Cohen, "Pi"

"Personal note: When I was little my mother told me not to stare into the sun, so when I was six I did."
        - Maximillian Cohen, "Pi"

"I want money and I want sex and I want loads of it. I don't understand money and I don't understand women."
        - Christie, with not much of either, "Christie Malry's Own Double-Entry"

"Why'd you catch that?"
"Because it was going to fall."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
"But it didn't. Because you caught it. The fact that you stopped it from falling doesn't mean it wasn't going to fall."
        - John Anderton & Danny Witwer, "Minority Report"

"What are you looking for?"
"Flaws."
        - John Anderton & Danny Witwer, "Minority Report"

"Is this some kind of joke?"
"No Mam, we at the FBI do not have a sense of humor we are aware of."
        - Men In Black

"If the intelligence community is a family, think of us as the uncle no one talks about."
        - Conspiracy Theory

"David Berkowitz, Ted Bundy, Richard Speck..."
"What about them?"
"Serial killers. Serial killers only have two names. You ever notice that? But lone gunmen assassins, they always have three names. John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, Mark David Chapman..."
"John Hinckley. He shot Reagan. He only has two names."
"Yeah, but he only just shot Reagan. Reagan didn't die. If Reagan had died, I'm pretty sure we probably would all know what John Hinckley's middle name was."
        - Jerry and Alice, "Conspiracy Theory"

"No, no. Psychopaths kill for no reason. I kill for *money*. It's a *job*. That didn't come out right."
        - Martin Blank, "Grosse Point Blank"

"Martin, I'm emotionally involved with you."
"How are you emotionally involved with me?"
"I'm afraid of you."
"You're afraid of me."
"And that constitutes an emotional involvement, and it would be unethical for me to work with you under those circumstances."
        - Dr Oatman & Martin Blank, "Grosse Point Blank"

"You don't know my cat. It's very demanding."
"It? You don't know if it's a boy or a girl?"
"I respect its privacy."
        - Martin Blank & Debi, "Grosse Point Blank"

"How was your date?"
"Well, there were two moments of extreme violence..."
        - Ken and Ray, "In Bruges"

"Are you sick?"
"Yes I am."
"Do you take medicine?"
"There is no medicine for my sickness."
        - Garland befriends a little girl, "Con Air"

"Kid, don't threaten me. There are worse things than death, and I can do all of them."
       - Hackers

"Sorry, Luke. I'm just doing my job. You gotta appreciate that."
"Nah. Calling it your job don't make it right, Boss."
        - Boss & Luke, "Cool Hand Luke"

"The book says, we might be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us."
        - Jimmy Gator, "Magnolia"

"What are you doing?"
"I'm quietly judging you."
        - Gwen and Frank TJ Mackey, "Magnolia"

"This is the scene in the movie where you help me."
        - Phil, "Magnolia"

"I don't want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me. Years ago we had the church. That was only a way of saying — we had each other. The Knights of Columbus were real head-breakers; true guineas. They took over their piece of the city. Twenty years after an Irishman couldn't get a fucking job, we had the presidency. May rest in peace. That's what the niggers don't realize. If I got one thing against the black chappies, it's this - no one gives it to you. You have to take it."
        - Frank Costello, "The Departed"

"Church wants you on your place. Kneel, stand, kneel, stand. If you go for that sort of thing, I don't know what to do for you. A man makes his own way. No one gives it to you. You have to take it. 'Non serviam'."
        - Frank Costello, taking inspiration from James Joyce, "The Departed"

"Face it, you're a black guy in Boston, you don't need my help to be completely f****d."
        - Colin Sullivan, "The Departed"

"You got any suits at home or do you like coming to work looking like you're about to invade Poland."
        - Colin Sullivan to a fellow cop, "The Departed"

"How's your mother?"
"She's on her way out I'm afraid."
"We all are, act accordingly."
        - Frank Costello, to an old acquaintance, "The Departed"

"Hey Frank, I gotta find myself."
        - Colin Sullivan, assigned to an interesting task, "The Departed"

"I'm Irish. I'll deal with something being wrong for thr rest of my life."
        - Colin Sullivan, "The Departed"

I always believed it was the things you don't choose that makes you who you are. Your city, your neighborhood, your family. People here take pride in these things, like it was something they'd accomplished. The bodies around their souls, the cities wrapped around those. I lived on this block my whole life; most of these people have. When your job is to find people who are missing, it helps to know where they started. I find the people who started in the cracks and then fell through. This city can be hard. When I was young, I asked my priest how you could get to heaven and still protect yourself from all the evil in the world. He told me what God said to His children. "You are sheep among wolves. Be wise as serpents, yet innocent as doves."
        - Patrick Kenzie, opening "Gone Baby Gone"

"He lied to me. I can't think of one reason big enough for him to lie small enough not to matter."
        - Patrick Kenzie, "Gone Baby Gone"

"Where I come from, you die with your secrets."
        - Remy Broussard, "Gone Baby Gone"

"Does he know where bin Laden is? 'Cause that would mean a huge promotion for me."
        - Agent Ronald Fleury, questioning a source, "The Kingdom"

"I didn't say 'I', I said 'FBI'!"
        - Agent Adam Leavitt, explaining his reluctance to go to Saudi Arabia, "The Kingdom"

"It's LEH-vitt, not Le'VITT. I'm not a goddamn French-Canadian!"
        - Agent Adam Leavitt, working on translation, "The Kingdom"

"By the way I don't like your jokes."
        - Colonel Al-Ghazi to Agent Leavitt, "The Kingdom"

# DEEP

We are scientists engaged in the creation of memory.
        - FW Murnau, directing the film within a film, "Shadow of the Vampire"

We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.
To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless - of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life? Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse."
What will your verse be?
        - John Keating, "Dead Poet's Society"

No, at that time I was not the mental giant that you see before you. I was the intellectual equivalent of a 98 pound weakling. I go to the beach and people would kick copies of Byron in my face.
        - John Keating, "Dead Poet's Society"

"What's the point of sleeping with you if it doesn't get your attention?"
        - Carl, to Lucia, "The Opposite of Sex"

"Say the point of sex isn't recreation or procreation or any of that stuff. Say it's concentration. Say it's supposed to focus your attention on the person you're sleeping with, like biological highlighter. Otherwise, there's just too many people in the world."
        - Carl, "The Opposite of Sex"

Only knowledge can turn life's unbearableness into a weapon.
       - Mishima

You can trick them into loving you by making them pity not hate your deformity.
        - Mishima

"You're one of those memorable people."
        - Lawyer to Finbar (Peter Dinklage), "The Station Agent"

"It's really funny how people see me and treat me, since I'm really just a simple, boring person."
        - Finbar 'Fin' McBride, "The Station Agent"

Have you ever had a dream with a dwarf in it? Do you know anyone who's had a dream with a dwarf in it? No! I don't even have dreams with dwarves in them. The only place I've seen dwarves in dreams is in stupid movies like this! "Oh make it weird, put a dwarf in it!". Everyone will go "Woah, this must be a fuckin' dream, there's a fuckin' dwarf in it!". Well I'm sick of it! You can take this dream sequence and stick it up your ass!
        - Tito (Peter Dinklage), arguing with his director, "Living in Oblivion"

"The hardest thing is having nothing to do. Every day is Sunday."
        - Oliver, about beign unemployed, "Sunday"

# ROMANCE

"I live in Notting Hill. You live in Beverly Hills. Everyone in the world knows who you are."
"I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her."
        - William Thacker & Anna Scott, "Notting Hill"

"You had me at hello."
     - Jerry Maguire

"In a time when one's town was one's world, and the actions at a dance created greater interest than the movement of armies, there lived a young woman who knew how this world should be run."
        - Opening Narration, "Emma"

"The most beautiful thing in the world is a match well made!"
        - Emma, "Emma"

"He loves me. I felt listless after he left and had some sort of a headache, so I must be in love too."
        - Emma, after Frank's departute, "Emma"

"Perhaps it is our imperfections which make us so perfect for one another."
        - Mr. Knightley, to Emma, "Emma"

"It would be most inconvenient since I swore to loathe him for all eternity."
        - Elizabeth Bennett, contemplating marriage to Darcy, "Pride and Prejudice"

"He looks miserable, poor soul."
"Miserable he may be, but poor he most certainly is not. He owns half of Derbyshire."
"The miserable half?"
        - Elizabeth and Charlotte, discussing Darcy, "Pride and Prejudice"

"Literature and solitude are as necessary to a young woman's development as sunshine is to ripen fruit."
        - Catherine Morland, "Northanger Abbey"

"Isabella is so sensitive to the heat."
"Is she my dear? I notice how she wears as little as possible."
        - Catherine & Mrs Allen, "Northanger Abbey"

"It is not so much a question of what we read, but how we read."
        - Henry Tilney, "Northanger Abbey"

"Is there not a word missing in our langauge, Miss Price? Something between compliments and love?"
        - Mary Crawford to Fanny, "Mansfield Park" (2007)

"Society will forgive us? What do I care about society? My father's shame will last forever, and my mother's grief and I... The woman I thought I loved doesn't exist. She was a figment of my imagination... But I'd have lost you a thousand times rather than see you for what you are."
"A pretty lecture, I must say? Will it be one of your sermons? Love is supposed to endure disappointment is it not — or so I am told."
"Goodbye Miss Crawford."
        - Edmund Bertram to Mary Crawford, "Mansfield Park"

"Do you ever think of getting married?"
"I believe in arranged marriages, don't you?"
"Rather out of date."
"Not at all. I've always like the phrase, 'A marriage has been arranged.' When I feel like it, I'll arrange one."
        - Charles and Flora, "Cold Comfort Farm"

"I want to learn about *real* life."
"What for?"
"To put it in books."
        - Flora and Charles, "Cold Comfort Farm"

"I can explain everything."
"Really? Are you a philosopher?"
        - Maria is found out by Ned, "Stage Beauty"

"One day you'll get tired of me."
"I think it'll be the other way round."
"No it won't."
        - Kate and Merton, "The Wings of the Dove"

"Do you hate me a little bit now for standing you up?"
"You didn't just stand me up — you set me up."
        - Kate and Merton, "The Wings of the Dove"

"Dear Cecilia, you'd be forgiven for thinking me mad the way I acted this afternoon. The truth is  I feel rather lightheaded and foolish in your presence, Cee, and I don't think I can blame the heat."
        - Robbie, to Cee, "Atonement"

"You don't love Cecil Vyse. No one could, not in that way — maybe his mother does. I don't know... If you marry that chap you'll be burying yourself alive and I think you know that."
        - George Emerson to Lucy Honeychurch, "A Room With A View" (2007)

"It's your life, not theirs. Besides, they are good people, they'll come round."
        - Mr Emerson, urging Lucy to choose 'unsuitable' George, "A Room With A View"

"I hope you're not going to suggest collecting postage stamps, or postcards, or mountaineering, or deep sea diving? Because that won't wash in his present predicament."
        - Mr Emerson, dismissing Lucy's remedies for George's broken heart, "A Room With A View"

"To have such a daughter! Useless, plain and godless."
        - Sybylla Melvyn, not impressing her mother, "My Brilliant Career"

"It's bad enough to be both a girl, but to be ugly and clever."
"Oh, clever are you?"
"I better be."
        - Sybylla and Aunt Gussie, "My Brilliant Career"

"I look a lot prettier when I'm not standing next to Rose. "
       - Cassandra, "I Capture the Castle"

"There is only one page left to write on. I will fill it with words of only one syllable. I love. I have loved. I will love."
        - Cassandra, completing her diary, "I Capture the Castle"

"Now that was when people *knew* how to be in love. They knew it! Time, distance... nothing could separate them because they knew. It was right. It was real. It was..."
"A movie! That's your problem! You don't want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie."
        - Annie & Becky, "Sleepless in Seattle"

"I need to tell you a story, and I need for you to tell me how it's going to turn out."
        - David Larrabee to Elizabeth Tyson, "Sabrina"

"You probably don't believe in marriage."
"Yes I do. That's why I never got married."
        - Sabrina & Linus Larrabee, "Sabrina"

"I pay for your life, David. My life makes your life possible."
"I resent that..."
"So do I!"
        - Linus and David Larrabee, "Sabrina"

"The great advantage of having a reputation for being stupid is that people are less suspicious of you."
        - Tom, "Four Weddings & A Funeral"

"Where's Gareth?"
"Torturing Americans."
"How thoughtful of him."
        - Fiona and Matthew, "Four Weddings And A Funeral"

"Ignore her. She's drunk. At least I hope she is. Otherwise I'm in real trouble."
        - Angus, "Four Weddings And A Funeral"

"They say no man is an island... but I like to think I'm an island. I like to think that I’m cool. I like to think that I’m Ibiza."
       - Will Freeman, "About A Boy"

"You've always had that part wrong... I really am that shallow."
        - Will Freeman, "About A Boy"

"I'm not sure about boyfriend and girlfriend, sometimes it looks more like owner and pet."
       - Will to Marcus, "About A Boy"

"What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?"
       - Rob Gordon, "High Fidelity"

"It's what you like that counts,  not what you are like. Books, records, films - these things matter."
        - Rob, analysing his date, "High Fidelity"

"Liking both Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel is like supporting both the Israelies and the Palestinians."
        - Rob to Laura, "High Fidelity"

"She's got character, she doesn't even take it out on other people when she's having a bad day."
        - Rob describes Laura, "High Fidelity"

"You, the critic, the professional appreciator, putting something new into the world."
        - Laura, "High Fidelity"

"The making of a compilation tape is a very subtle art, you're using other people's poety to express your feelings."
        - Rob, "High Fidelity"

"You'll never get a boyfriend if you look like you've just wandered out of Auschwitz."
       - Mrs Jones to Bridget, "Bridget Jones's Diary"

And then the question dreaded by all singletons, "How's the love life?"
        - Bridget, "Bridget Jones's Diary"

"I will not be defeated by a bad man and an American stick insect."
        - Bridget, "Bridget Jones's Diary"

"I want to hear this, because if she gives one inch, I'm gonna fire her bony little bottom anyway for being totally spineless."
        - Perpetua, "Bridget Jones's Diary"

"I realize that when I met you at the turkey curry buffet, I was unforgivably rude, and wearing a reindeer jumper."
        - Mark Darcy, "Bridget Jones's Diary"

"I just have something I want to say. You once said that you liked me just as I am and I just wanted to say, likewise, I mean, there are stupid things your mum buys you. Tonight's another classic. You're haughty and you always say the wrong thing in every situation.
And I seriously believe that you should rethink the length of your sideburns. But you're a nice man and I like you. If you wanted to pop by sometime, that might be nice. More than nice."
        - Bridget, "Bridget Jones's Diary"

"If you love her so much Darcy, why don't you marry her?"
"I'll bear that in mind."
"She'd definitely sleep with me then."
        - Daniel Cleaver and Mark Darcy, refighting old battles, "Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason"

"You know, you look like a normal person, but actually you are the Angel of Death."
        ~ When Harry Met Sally

"I am a miserable, grumpy elitist and it works for me."
        - Victor Melling (Michael Caine), "Miss Congeniality"

"If I can only meet someone new... I guess my chances of that are somewhat diminished seeing that I'm incapable of making eye contact with a woman I don't know... Why do I fall in love with almost every woman that shows me the least bit of attention?"
        - Joel Barrish, via his internal monologue, "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"

"Drink up young man, it'll make the whole seduction part less repugnant."
        - Clementine to Joel, "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"

"Is there any danger of brain damage?"
"Well, technically speaking, the procedure is brain damage... but only on a par with a night of heavy drinking."
        - Joel and Dr. Mierzwiak, "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"

"You stand accused of being in a relationship. How do you plead?"
"Not guilty."
"Really? What were the football scores?"
        - Matt interrogates Jack, "Come Together"

"That's Nikki, a beautiful statue, damaged in a way you can't see till you get too close."
        - Alfie, reminded of a marble Greek Goddess, "Alfie"

"Every woman has the exact love life she wants."
        - Nick, "The Wedding Date"

"A relationship, I think is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark."
        - Woody Allen, "Annie Hall"

"This isn't a conversation about this being over. I'm not like, putting a period at the end of this. I'm putting like... an ellipsis on it."
        - Andrew to Sam, figuring out their relationship, "Garden State"

"You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone... I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for you kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place."
        - Andrew to Sam, "Garden State"

"What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you love. That's what matters. That's the only thing that counts."
        - Stephen to Michael, "The Last Kiss"

"Where did you come from and how can I make more of you?"
        - Kenny, intoxicated by Danille, "The Last Kiss"

"I was never in a fraternity. I was much too serious."
"Oh, I bet you were 29 even when you were 19."
"Put it this way. If i had to do it again, I'd do it knowing that after you graduate no one ever gives a f**k what your GPA was."
        - Michael and Kim, on college life, "The Last Kiss"

"Everyone I know is having a crisis. I know you are not supposed to get them until midlife but I think something's happening to our metabolism. I mean the world is moving so fast now, we are all chasing something so fast that we start freaking out long before our parents did."
        - Kim, to Michael, "The Last Kiss"

"I don't care about tomorrow or anything else. I just care that you're here."
        - Kim to Michael, "The Last Kiss"

"I just feel like I'm designed to be slightly dissatisfied with everything... like always trying to better my situation."
        - Jesse, "Before Sunset"

"I remember that night better than I do entire years."
        - Jesse, on his night in Vienna with Celine, "Before Sunset"

"Maybe we're only good at brief encounters... strolling around European cities?"
        - Celine to Jesse, "Before Sunset"

"I had this idea of my best self, and I wanted to pursue that, even if it might have been overriding my honest self... now I feel like I'm running a small nursery with someone I used to date."
        - Jesse, "Before Sunset"

# MISC

"I'm worried about prison!"
"Hey! I'm over 18, I'm legal."
"There mere fact that you have to mention that is another reason why I shouldn't be here."
        - Dexs & Sydney, "DOA"

Shakespeare once said: Life is pretty stupid, with lot's of hubbub to keep you busy, but really not amounting to much ... I'm paraphrasing of course.
        - L.A. Story

"It's like someone took America by the East Coast and shook it, and all the normal girls managed to hang on."
        - Harry, on the girls of LA in "Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang"

"That’s me there; I’m Harry Lockhart. I’ll be your narrator."
        - Harry, describing that party he's at, "Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang"

"Harmony was right, her sister was murdered. You pulled the trigger. It just took this long for the bullet to hit."
        - Perry, to Harmony's Dad, "Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang"

"Excuse me, Mr. President, I just got off the phone with the federal mediator in St. Louis. Management just walked away from the table; the baggage handlers, pilots and flight attendants are all getting set to walk out in forty-eight hours."
"You know, I studied under a Nobel Prize-winning economist, and you know what he taught me?"
"Never have an airline strike at Christmas?"
        - AJ & President Shepherd, "The American President"

"Do you have any ambition? Then leave Italy. Go to London, Paris, America, if you can. Italy is a beautiful country. But it is a place to die, run by dinosaurs."
"Then why do you stay?"
"I'm one of the dinosaurs."
        - The Professor and Nicola Carati, "The Best of Youth"

"There is no winning in this! There's only degrees of losing!"
        - Gavin D'Amato (Danny DeVito), "War Of The Roses"

"'Captain Hauk sucks the sweat off of a dead mans balls.' I have no idea what that means, but it seems very negative to me."
       - Robin Williams, "Good Morning Vietnam"

You know, you're more in need of a blowjob than any other white man in the history of the human race.
        - Robin Williams, "Good Morning Vietnam"

"Are you telling me you can speak six languages and fly a jetliner but you don't know how to file a tax
return? ...It's never come up? ...Does this have to happen right now? ...No, that's a 'W-2.' 'WW2' was the Second World War."
        - Steve Arlo, on a call with Daryl Zero, "Zero Effect"

"If you’re looking for something, your chances of finding it are very small. Because, of all the things in the world, you’re only looking for one of them. But if you’re looking for anything at all, your chances of finding it are pretty good, because of all the things in the world you’re likely to find some of them."
        - Daryl Zero, "Zero Effect"

"You can't buy silence, you can only rent it."
        - Gregory Stark, "Zero Effect"

"You're the best I've ever seen."
"So are you."
        - Daryl Zero & Gloria Sullivan, "Zero Effect"

"What have I gotten myself into?"
"The adventure of a lifetime, Watson."
        - John Watson and Sherlock Holmes, "Young Sherlock Holmes"

"Holmes. It's been a long time. Three, four days since your last visit?"
"I believe I'm on to something. This time I'm certain of it."
"Really. Just like last month when you were convinced that the French ambassador had embezzled 300 thousand pounds from the Bank of England?"
"I was close. It was the Russian ambassador."
        - Lestrade and Sherlock Holmes, "Young Sherlock Holmes"

"Bloodthirsty. Just plain bloodthirsty! That's what they are."
        - The Driver, on the imaginations of the girls of Bluecliff College, "The Falcon and the Co-Eds"

"It takes a very unusual woman to be charming and rude at the same time."
        - Tom Lawrence, "The Falcon and the Co-Eds"

"Stephen, what are you doing?"
"I'm trying to save you!"
"Well cut it out! I'm trying to save you."
        - Jo and Stephen, "Happy, Texas"

"I'm nostalgic for conversations I had yesterday. I've begun reminiscing events before they even occur. I'm reminiscing this right now. I can't go to the bar because I've already looked back on it in my memory... and I didn't have a good time."
        - Max, "Kicking and Screaming"

"Aren't you ever gonna stop deluding yourself, hmm? Handling Max? Behaving like some ludicrous little underage 'femme fatale'? You're about as 'fatale' as an afterdinner mint!"
        - Brian Roberts, losing it with Sally Bowles, "Cabaret"

"I can't do it this quickly — accept apologies when I'm still angry. You can't say something like that and then say sorry. Do you see?"
        - Steven, after his first fight with Anne, "Wisdom of Crocodiles"

"I wrote a suicide note."
"You did?"
"Yeah, right after I regained conciousness."
        - Richie and Chas Tenenbaum, "The Royal Tenenbaums"

"I feel like my head's in the kitchen, my belly's in the bathroom and my feet are in the bedroom."
        - Arlene Joseph, "Smoke Signals"

"When you sleep with someone, your body makes a promise whether you do or not."
        - Julie Gianni to David Aames, "Vanilla Sky"

"I want to be swept off my feet. I want my children to have magical powers. I am prepared for amazing things to happen. I can handle it."
        - Richard, bored with his humdrum life, "Me, You and Everyone We Know"

"Dude, did you just give her the family discount."
"Yes. She's my neighbour. I'm working on my karma. You know what 'karma' means? She owes me one."
        - Michael and Richard, "Me, You and Everyone We Know"

"We have a whole life to live together, but we can't start until you call!"
        - Christine, waiting to be asked out, "Me, You and Everyone We Know"

"My boys are good at being boys."
       - Richard, "Me, You and Everyone We Know"

"Cal, are you happy? I mean, when you call yourself a happy man, do you really mean it?"
"You ask a serious question, I'll give you a serious answer: Happy enough. I don't expect much. I don't get much, I don't give much. I generally enjoy whatever comes along. That's my answer for you, summed up for your feminine consideration. I'm happy enough."
        - Jenna and Cal, "The Waitress"

"Un-congratulations, you're definitely having a baby."
"Un-thank you."
        - Dr. Pomatter, to reluctant mom Jenna, "The Waitress"

"If I'd ever met a girl like you, my whole life would've been different."
        - Old Joe, dancing his last dance with Jenna, "The Waitress"

This is a story about a man named Harold Crick and his wristwatch. Harold Crick was a man of infinite numbers, endless calculations, and remarkably few words. And his wristwatch said even less. Every weekday, for twelve years, Harold would brush each of his thirty-two teeth seventy-six times. Thirty-eight times back and forth, thirty-eight times up and down. Every weekday, for twelve years, Harold would tie his tie in a single Windsor knot instead of the double, thereby saving up to forty-three seconds. His wristwatch thought the single Windsor made his neck look fat, but said nothing.
        - Kay Eiffel, introducing "Stranger Than Fiction"

Little did he know that this simple seemingly innocuous act would result in his imminent death.
        - Kay Eiffel, narrating the story of "Stranger Than Fiction"

"I'm afraid what you're describing is schizophrenia."
"No, no, it's not schizophrenia. It's just a voice in my head. I mean, the voice isn't telling me to do anything. It's telling me what I've already done. Accurately, and with a better vocabulary."
"Mr. Crick, you have a voice speaking to you."
"No, not to me. About me. I'm somehow involved in some sort of story. Like I'm a character in my own life. But the problem is that the voice comes and goes. Like there are other parts of the story not being told to me, and I need to find out what those other parts are before it's too late."
"Before the story concludes with your death."
"Yes."
"Mr. Crick, I hate to sound like a broken record, but that's schizophrenia."
        - Harold visits a psychiatrist to analyse his situation, "Stranger Than Fiction"

"Let's start with ridiculous and work backwards... Let me ask you this. On a scale of one to ten, what are the chances that you'll be assassinated — one being highly unlikely, ten being you're expecting it around every corner?"
        - Harold visits a literature professor to discuss his situation, "Stranger Than Fiction"

"I used to have this professor at Oxford, okay? Doctor Wickham... he taught biomolecular kinetics and cellular dynamics. And he used to sort of scare the underclassmen with this story about how the world would eventually be eviscerated by technology. You see, it was inevitable that a compound would be created which he referred to as the 'Anti-God'. It was like an accelerated mutator or sort of, you know, like a, an unstoppable force of destructive power, that would just lay waste to everything - to buildings and parks and streets and children and ice cream parlors, you know? So whenever I see, like, a rogue organization willing to spend this amount of money on a mystery tech, I always assume... it's the Anti-God. End-of-the-world kinda stuff, you know... But no, I don't have any idea what it is. I was just speculating."
        - Benji Dunn, theorising a worse case scenario in "MI3"

"What I see in Julia is life before all of this."
        - Ethan Hunt to Luther Stickell, "MI3"

"I don't agree with you."
"Then I'm smarter than you."
       - Ethan Hunt and Luther Stickell, "MI3"

"You're dead Mr. Davian. There are witnesses."
        - Ethan Hunt, "MI3"

# THE NAME IS BOND

"Do you realize you're no less than the 12th megalomaniacal madman striving for world domination that I've met?"
        - James Bond, "Goldeneye"

"What do I need to defuse a nuclear bomb?"
"Me."
        - James Bond & Christmas Jones, "The World Is Not Enough"

"Can't you just say 'hello' like a normal person?"
        - Valentin to Bond, "The World Is Not Enough"

"You wanna put that in English for those of us who don't speak Spy?"
        - Christmas Jones, "The World Is Not Enough"

"You could have had the world."
"The world is not enough."
        - Elektra King & James Bond, "The World Is Not Enough"

"One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter.
"Zao's not fighting for anyone's freedom."
        - Raul & James Bond, "Die Another Day"

"You know, you're cleverer than you look."
"Better than looking cleverer than you are."
        - James and Q, "Die Another Day"

"You are very suspicious Mr. Bond."
"Oh I find I live much longer that way."
        - James Bond, "The Spy Who Loved Me"

"Which bullet has my name on it — the first or the last?"
        - Bond, to Major Anya Amasova, "The Spy Who Loved Me"

"I'm Mr. Arlington Beech, professional gambler, and you're Miss Stephanie Broadchest..."
"I am not!"
"You're going to have to trust me on this."
"Oh no I don't."
        - James Bond and Vesper Lynd, going over their 'cover', "Casino Royale"

"If you could avoid killing every possible lead it would be greatly appreciated."
        - M to Bond, "Quantum of Solace"

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