Restores white males to their rightful position in the captain's chair.
        - TheOnion.Com reviews Enterprise in their AV Guide

"Enterprise"'s concept seemed to reconnect with the idea of exploration, but aesthetically, it didn't fit into the Star Trek universe. The ship is too modern, even despite its beams and hard edges. Ironically, because "Enterprise" doesn't look anything like its rapidly aging grandparent, it feels false, an impostor pretending to precede a series it clearly comes long after. A Commodore 128 plugged into a TV set feels more futuristic than the flashing lights of the original NCC-1701, and thus "Enterprise" found itself in an impossible position: appeal to audiences in the 21st century while looking like a 1960s vision of the 22nd century.
        - Andy Dehnart, "MSNBC"

SEASON 1 PILOT - BROKEN BOW

"On this site, a powerful engine will be built, an engine that will some day let us travel a hundred times faster than we can today. Imagine it. Thousands of inhabited planets at our fingertips. And we'll be able to explore those strange new worlds and seek out new life and new civilizations. This engine will let us go boldly where no man has gone before."
        - Zefram Cochrane's dedication speech for the Warp 5 Research Complex

"If you're going to try to embrace new worlds... you must try to embrace new ideas."
        - Dr Phlox

"There's a chance he'll be conscious within the next ten minutes... just not a very good one."
        - Dr Phlox

FIGHT OR FLIGHT

"Come on, Travis. We've got to find Mr. Reed something to blow up."
        - Captain Jonathon Archer

"Crewmen Bennett and Hayden over there, do you see them? If I'm not mistaken, they are preparing to mate. Do you think they might let me watch?"
        - Dr Phlox

"Going to war, Lieutenant?"
"You can't be too careful, sir."
"You've seen too many Science Fiction movies."
        - Archer and Armoury Officer Lt Malcolm Reed

"At least we know they're bipeds."
"What gives you that idea?"
"The ladder."
        - Communications Officer Hoshi Sato and Reed

STRANGE NEW WORLD

"Vulcan ships would begin by sending automated probes down to collect more detailed scans. If the planet proved to be Minshara-class, we would then conduct a geophysical survey from orbit."
"Minshara-class?"
"Suitable for human life."
        - T'Pol, Mayweather and Hoshi

"That’s it. To the left of that trinary cluster."
"What?"
"Our sun."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive. Just another speck of light. No different then all the others."
"When I was a kid I’d go camping with my buddies. We’d spend half the time looking up at the stars wondering what our own sun would look like from this far away."
"Now you know."
        - Cutler, Tucker and Mayweather engage in some astronomy

"Give me your boot!"
"For what?"
"So I can squash him."
"Are we allowed to squash alien life forms?"
"If they're inside your sleeping bag!"
        - Commander 'Tripp' Tucker and Ensign Mayweather have a close encounter

"You want to shoot a bug?"
"I just wanna stun it!"
        - Travis and Trip, breaking out the heavy artillery

"You didn't shoot me last night, did you?"
        - Tucker to Science Officer, Sub-Commander T'Pol

UNEXPECTED

"Make any friends?"
"Ah'Len. One of their engineers. She's the one who showed me the holographic chamber."
"Is she the one you thanked for taking care of you?"
"Yeah."
"Interesting scales."
"She did have a certain sensuality to her."
"So. Did you get a look at their weapons?"
        - Reed and Tucker

"Three days. You were only there for three days and you couldn't restrain yourself."
"I'm telling you Captain, I was a complete gentleman the entire time."
"I imagine that's a question of how you define 'gentleman'."
        - T'Pol and Tucker

"This engineer wanted you to see her planet."
"So?"
"Perhaps the next step would have been to meet her holographic parents."
        - T'Pol and Tucker

"If you agree to enter their vessel, I'd appreciate it if you'd bring my chief engineer with you."
"He talks too much. I'll bring a security team."
        - Archer and Klingon Captain (discussing Tucker)

TERRA NOVA

"Asking favors of the Vulcans usually ends up carrying too high a price."
        - Tucker

"I'm not familiar with the early years of human space exploration."
"Really? Every school kid on Earth had to learn about the famous Vulcan expeditions."
"Name one."
"...History was never my best subject."
        - T'Pol and Tucker

THE ANDORIAN INCIDENT

"I confess, I feel awkward, myself, on this ship... sometimes out of place. But what is that Vulcan moto? Uhm, 'Infinite Diversity--' "
"--in Infinite Combinations."
"Hmm! And what is diversity but a celebration of differences! ...I wonder if you might remind me of our mission on this vessel. Please, indulge me."
"Our mission is to make contact with those who humans consider new life and new civilizations."
"In other words, to seek infinite diversity."
        - Dr Phlox and T'Pol

"They answered a hail from Enterprise. They threatened to kill us all if anyone attempts a rescue."
"Mister Reed wouldn't be that reckless."
"I didn't recruit my tactical officer to sit on his butt when he's threatened! The Andorians smashed our communicators, the longer we are out of contact, the more likely Malcolm will but together a landing party, warning or no warning."
"Knowing him, a heavily armed landing party."
        - Archer, T'Pol and Tucker

CIVILIZATION

"I cannot wait to get down there!"
"I'd advise against that. It's standard protocol to wait until the society develops warp drive before initiating first contact."
"Those are Vulcan protocols, not Human."
"Starfleet would be wise to adopt them. There's no way to know how our arrival would affect the evolution of their society."
        - Tucker and T'Pol

"Starfleet could have sent a probe out here to make maps and take pictures but they didn't. They sent us, so that we could explore with our own senses."
        - Archer

"A farm?"
"It's remote and sparsely populated. If you're exposed, there's a reduced risk of cultural
contamination."
"This must be why aliens are always landing in cornfields."
        - Archer and T'Pol pick a landing site

"What'd you do to me?"
"Nothing. You just... collapsed."
"That's the second lie you've told me. You're not very good at it."
        - Riann questions Archer

"I'd advise against that. If I'm not mistaken, the fear of alien abduction caused a great deal of apprehension on your planet for centuries."
        - T'Pol to Archer

SILENT ENEMY

"This time we won't be leaving before we're ready."
"Are your ears a little pointier than usual?"
        - Archer and Tucker

DEAR DOCTOR

"You two are not from the same planet?"
"No. We may look alike, but the similiarity ends there."
     - A Velaxian doctor questions T'Pol and Archer

"We could stay and help them."
"The Vulcans stayed to help Earth ninety years ago. We're still there."
"I never thought I'd say this, but... I'm beginning to understand how the Vulcan must have felt."
     - Archer and T'Pol, as he decides whether to help the Valaxians

"Some day, my people are going to come up with some sort of a doctrine, something that
tells us what we can and can't do out here, should and shouldn't do. But until somebody tells me that they have drafted that directive, I'm going to have to remind myself that we didn't come out here to play god."
     - Archer

"If I hadn't trusted the Captain to make the right choice, I'd have been no better than the Vulcan diplomats who held your species back because they felt you couldn't make proper decisions on your own."
     - Phlox

SLEEPING DOGS

"Your compassion is admirable, but misplaced."
        - T'Pol, to Malcolm

"Photon torpedoes? Never heard of anything like that."
        - Malcolm, investigating the weapons systems

"Remind me to stop trying to help people."
        - Archer

SHUTTLEPOD ONE

"Sometimes I think you North Americans read nothing but comic books and those ridiculous science-fiction novels."
"I'll have you know that Superman was *laced* with subtext."
        - Malcolm and Tucker compare continents

"The Vulcans would've been far less reluctant to help us. But no - he had to be from *Montana*."
        - Malcolm, wishing Zefram Cochrane had been a European

"I was counting on there being a Charles Tucker the fourth some day."
        - Tucker

"I think it’s a lovely name. Malcolm is the Vu word for serenity."
        - T'Pol to Malcolm, in his dreams

"Ah, Ruby, whatever happened to ya?"
"Ruby? You don’t mean the waitress, Ruby?"
...
"Seems we have more in common than we thought."
        - Tucker and Malcolm remember happier times

"What do you think of T’pol? Hmm? You think she’s pretty?"
"T’pol, are you serious?"
        - Malcolm and Tucker, after a bottle of bourbon

"Mr. And Mrs. Reed, I realize that you just begun a period of mourning, and I’ll never get an answer to this question, but I got to ask it anyway. Was Malcolm always this cynical?"
       - Tucker, interrupting Malcom's log entry

"I don't want to die - what makes you think I want to die?"
"Because every since we saw Enterprise spread across that asteroid, you've done nothing but write your own obituary."
        - Malcolm and Tucker

"Now the only one that's left thinks I'm the bloody Angel of Death."
"Five or six extra minutes sound pretty good right now."
        - Malcolm and Tucker

"Ever hold your breath for 11 hours?"
        - Malcolm convinces Tucker

"I've invested far too much time trying to figure you out, Mr. Tucker, I'm not about to accept that it was all for nothing."
        - Malcolm

FUSION

"Where'd you hear that?"
"A Vulcan anthropologist told me he'd seen the ritual during an Earth expedition."
"They're not trying to kill the quarterback. They're just trying to keep him from throwing the ball and running with it. It's only a game. Not a... fight to the death."
"I see."
        - Tucker explains American Football to Kov

"Is it true you mate year round with any of them you choose?"
        - Kov, to Tucker

"You do this every night?"
"Every night."
"I think I finally understand why."
        - Archer and T'Pol, on why she meditates

"Do you dream?"
"Sure. Sometimes they're even in color."
"Is it ... enjoyable?"
"Most nights."
"I envy you."
        - T'Pol and Archer

ACQUISITION

"Just because a guy's in his underwear, you assume the worst."
        - Tucker to T'Pol

"What's a wife worth? Five bars of gold, maybe six? Let them take Hoshi and I'll give you ten."
        - Archer to Tucker

"Not that interesting ... no sense of humor ... always complaining?"
"I'll make it up to you."
"How?"
"Five bars of gold?"
        - T'Pol and Archer

OASIS

"What happened to your crew?"
"They're gone, Captain. Isn't it obvious?"
"Your *real* crew."
"They didn't seem *real* to you?"
        - Archer and Ezral

VOX SOLA

"You’ll like it. Things blow up."
        - Mayweather recommends a film to Malcolm

FALLEN HERO

"If you're wearing that to impress the women on Risa, you may as well stay on board."
"Rule One: You've got to be seen to get noticed and I plan on getting noticed."
          - T'Pol takes issue with Tucker's shirt

"Cap'n, you need this as much as I do."
"No one needs this as much as you do."
        - Tucker tries to persuade Archer to take some shore leave

"If you must know, I much prefer the shooting back part."
         - Malcolm

"We just hide them better."
        - V'Lar, on emotions

"It's called a warp five engine."
"On *paper*!"
        - Archer and Tucker

TWO DAYS AND TWO NIGHTS

"We're going to broaden our cultural horizons."
        - Malcom

"The Vulcan database says no one leaves this club unhappy."
"How would the *Vulcans* know?"
        - Tucker and Malcom

"Now she's quite interesting."
"I don't think *she* is the right pronoun".
        - Tucker and Malcom, in the club

"Malcom, bearing 180."
        - Tucker, when he spots someone likely to broaden his cultural horizons

"I saved the captain's life."
"I thought you were the captain?"
"We rotate. He's captain next week."
        - Tucker tries to impress an alien woman

"Gorgeous aliens! Don't forget they were gorgeous."
"They were male!"
"Not at first."
        - Tucker and Reed, on the night before

"Have you ever been to an alien hospital?"
"Yes, in San Francisco."
        - Maywather and T'Pol

SHOCKWAVE

"As I've told you, the Vulcan Science Directorate has concluded that time travel is impossible."
"Well, *good* for the Vulcan Science Directorate."
        - T'Pol and Archer

SEASON TWO - SHOCKWAVE pt.2

"The Romulan Star Empire? What's that?"
"Maybe you shouldn't be reading that."
        - Archer and Daniels

CARBON CREEK

"Vulcans in the 1950s? Does Joe McCarthy know about this?"
        - Tim Lynch reviews 'Carbon Creek'

A NIGHT IN SICKBAY

"I'm not questioning your pluralities, I'm questioning your priorities."
        - T'Pol, to Archer

"If Porthos pulls through, will he need a special diet or treatment, having a chameleon's pituitary gland?"
"You may have some difficulty finding him. He'll have the ability to blend into his background when frightened."
"You're kidding."
"Yes, I am."
        - Archer and Phlox

MARAUDERS

"Malcolm has this rule: you've got to be taller than the gun to use it."
        - Trip

THE SEVENTH

"You're here to apprehend him, not to judge him."
        - Archer to T'Pol

THE COMMUNICATOR

"You don't have to leave technology behind to contaminate a culture."
        - T'Pol to Archer

SINGULARITY

"And Malcolm, don't call it 'battle stations.' Think of something less... aggressive."
        - Archer

"It's the *Captain's* chair. It's just as important as your... Reed alert."
"Reed alert. That's not bad..."
        - Trip & Malcolm obsess

CEASE FIRE

"What *is* their fixation with our ears?"
"I believe they're envious."
        - Soval and T'Pol

FUTURE TENSE

"This gives a whole new meaning to 'space exploration'."
        - Malcom, exploring a timeship (but not a Tardis)

"If a Human and a Vulcan did have a child, I wonder if he'd have pointed ears?"
        - Archer to T'Pol

CANAMAR

"Captain, my superiors will want a report on..."
"I'll give you one right now: Kuroda's dead, the other 11 prisoners are under guard. As you're aware, my engineer and I were falsely arrested. We almost wound up in Canamar. Makes me wonder how many others don't belong there. You wanted a report, you've got one."
        - Enolian official and Archer

THE CROSSING

"Are you aware you're the most attractive women on this ship."
        - 'crossed' Malcom, to T'Pol

JUDGMENT

"They were subjects of the Empire - their welfare was not your concern!"
"Apparently, it wasn't *yours* either."
        - advocate Orak and Archer

"What’s it the blood of?"
        - Archer gets uses to bloodwine

"He is guilty of nothing more than being a nuisance, and hardly worth the attention of this tribunal - and if he must be punished, let the punishment fit *that* crime."
        - advocate Kolos defends Archer

"Are all humans like this?"
"Like what? Fair?"
"Stupid."
        - Kolos and Archer

COGENITOR

"It'll be nice to have a first contact where nobody's charging weapons."
        - Trip

"I did exactly what you'd do, Cap'n."
"Don't tell me you know what I would've done when *I* don't even know what I would've done!"
        - Trip and Archer

FIRST FLIGHT

"When the first warp-5 starship is built, its captain won't be able to call home every time he needs to make a decision. He won't be able to turn to the Vulcans ... unless he decides to take one with him."
        - Commander A.G. Robinson

SEASON THREE: THE EXPANSE

"On my planet, wars were fought over these."
        - Trip trades some spices from Earth on an alien world, "Rajiin"

"I thought we were here to try and stop a war, not start one... By destroying this complex, we'll be confirming their worst fears about humanity."
        - Archer, coming face-to-face with the Xindi, "The Shipment"

"You're outnumbered four to one."
"I thought it was four to two."
        - Shran and T'Pol, engaged in a battle of wits, "Proving Ground"

"The Andorian Mining Consortium runs from no one."
        - Shran, "Proving Ground"

"If you ever get tired of exploring, we could do with you in the Imperial Guard."
        - Talas to Reed, "Proving Ground"

"The red giant may be a red herring."
       - Trip, "Stratagem"

"Not the sort of thing they trained us for at West Point."
        - Major Hayes gets used to life on a starship, "Hatchery"

"I really don't know what's holding us together."
        - Malcolm, surveying the "Damage"

In the opening scene, the Xindi reptilians are seen celebrating their imminent victory by eating live mice. Yes, live mice. I laughed. (How can't you?) They even hold the mice up to each other first, as if toasting with wine glasses. If there was any doubt that Dolum and his cohorts weren't Pure Evil, then this scene ... well, I don't know what this scene says. If they'd been eating newborn kittens after having drowned them, that would be iron-clad confirmation of Pure Evil. I don't know where eating live mice lies on the Evil Scale.
I give up in trying to make sense of Daniels and his timeline illogic. He's like a message in a bottle, but without the message, leaving you with nothing to do with the empty bottle except smash it over your head.
        - from Jammer's review of "Zero Hour"

SEASON FOUR: HOME

"Our greatest scientist once said, 'Every moment we live, we are moving through time'. We've earned the right to chose which direction... Soon, history will belong to us. We will stretch out our hands and mold it according to our will. Not even the gods of our ancestors could have imagined such power."
        - Vosk, on the power of time travel, "Storm Front"

"I'd never had fun arguing with someone before."
        - Trip, realising his true feelings for T'Pol, "Home"

"Some men are braver with their own lives than they are with the lives of others."
        - Malik, trying strong arm tactics, "Cold Station 12"

"Why are you so surprised? Whenever a group of people start believing they're better than everyone else, the results are always the same."
        - Archer to Soong, "Cold Station 12"

"How long can we sustain warp 5?"
"As long as the captain wants it. Or until we blow up — whichever comes first."
        - Soong and Trip, as the Enterprise is pushed to the limit, "The Augments"

"We don't know what to do about humans. Of all the species we've made contact with, yours is the only one we can't define. You have the arrogance of the Andorians, the stubborn pride of Tellurites. One moment you're as driven by your emotions as Klingons and the next you confound us by suddenly embracing logic."
"I'm sure those qualities are found in every species?"
"Not in such confusing abundance."
        - Vulcan Ambassador Soval and Admiral Forrest, "The Forge"

"Are Vulcans afraid of humans? Why?"
"Because there is one species you remind us of..."
"Vulcans."
"We had our wars, Admiral, just as humans did. Our planet was devastated, our civilization nearly destroyed. Logic saved us. But it took us almost 1,500 years for us to rebuild our world and travel to the stars. You humans did the same in less than a century. There are those on the High Command who wonder what humans would achieve in the century to come, and they don't like the answer."
        - Admiral Forrest and Vulcan Ambassador Soval, "The Forge"

"Over the centuries, his followers made copies of his teachings."
"Let me guess: With the originals lost, whatever's left is open to interpretation."
"You find this amusing."
"I find it familiar."
        - T'Pol and Archer, discussing the writings of Surak, "The Forge"

"You have a lot to learn about humans. We don't sit back and do nothing while our people are attacked."
"No, you traverse vast wastelands based on false information."
        - Archer and T'Pau, "Awakening"

"Your unchecked emotions will no doubt prove distasteful."
        - T'Pau to Archer, "Awakening"

"How many warning shots do Vulcans normally fire?"
"None."
        - Trip and Soval, "Awakening"

"There is one Andorian who might trust us — at least he does, some of the time."
        - Trip, about Shran, "Kirshara"

"You people are so used to lying you don't even tell the truth to each other."
        - Shran to Soval, about Vulcans in general, "Kirshara"

"A lesser man would have told me what I wanted to hear — even if it wasn't true."
        - Shran about Soval, "Kirshara"

"This will likely be one of the times where everyone dies."
        - Observer, "Observer Effect"

"Right now, Enterprise needs a doctor more than it needs a captain."
        - Archer to Phlox, "Observer Effect"

"I'm told this ship is the pride of Starfleet. I find it small and unimpressive."
        - Tellarite Ambassador to Archer, "Babel One"

"Did you even read the manual that comes with that thing?"
        - Malcolm, explaining the special features of a phase pistol to Trip, "United"

"You did all this with a phase pistol?"
"You're good at building things, I'm good at blowing them up."
        - Trip and Malcolm, causing a commotion, "United"

"I'm the only one who can be killed because Starfleet won't withdraw."
        - Archer, realising he's the expendable one, "United"

"Vulcans have a saying: One man can summon the future."
        - T'Pol to Archer, "United"

There should be a tally somewhere (and come to think of it, there might be) of just how many societies in the Star Trek mythos have employed a fight to the death as a matter of honor and/or custom.
        - From Jammer's review of "United"

The Romulans are busy causing mayhem with their remote-controlled drone, as they themselves sit in a control room on Romulus... The Romulans are loath to man these ships, because they want to cause this mayhem without the possibility of it being traced back to them. The Romulans seem to believe — for reasons beyond my comprehension — that the drone can absolutely not be traced back to them. Obviously they have severely underestimated the fact that their technology is recognizable — enough for T'Pol to have easily put the pieces together in last week's "Babel One."
        - From Jammer's review of "United"

"Since Enterprise was launched, we've all been near death on several occasions."
        - T'Pol, possibly speaking about more than just the ship, "The Aenar"

"The Vulcans say that the desert teaches men the meaning of endurance but it's the ice that teaches real strength."
        - Shran, of Andoria, "The Aenar"

"What's it like on your ship?"
"Warm."
        - Jhamel and Archer, "The Aenar"

I'm asking myself: Why would the Romulans even design remote-controlled war drones that require a telepathic pilot, of all things? Couldn't they just design remote ships that, you know, used keys or a mouse or a joystick or something, anything, but telepathy? Even more silly: (1) These drones require an Aenar to pilot; (2) The Romulans were apparently so shortsighted as to kidnap only one Aenar to fly them; (3) the Romulan admiral forces the Romulan scientist to push the pilot to the limits of brain damage, saying his health is "of no consequence"; so (4) I guess when he dies, their brilliant plan is to mothball the drones.
        - From Jammer's review of "The Aenar"

About this time, a strange anomaly begins appearing on the ship. In a scene that is humorous in the way it pointlessly tries to be suspenseful, the anomaly makes all the lights in the armory go out. Lt. Reed and a nameless guy we've never seen before go walking slowly through the dark with their flashlights, trying to find the cause of the disturbance. Honestly, if the nameless guy hadn't died, the audience would've justly rioted. Obviously, a situation like this is the reason that red shirts will be invented at some point between Archer's time and Kirk's.
        - Jamahl Epsicokhan, reviewing "Daedalus"

"It is more honourable to give one's life for medical research than to die for no purpose!"
"That choice is not ours to make."
        - Antaak and Phlox, arguing over live test subjects, "Affliction"

"It's dead, I can't eat that. No wonder you're all so weak."
"Physical strength isn't everything. "
"You can't win wars without it."
"Being smart is more important. General Sun Tzu said that the greatest victories are those won without fighting."
"The Great Kahless said there is no victory without combat."
        - Reed gets to know a Klingon prisoner, "Divergence"

"I'm surprised you aren't more exhausted from all the beds you've been jumping into recently."
        - T'Pol to Sato, "In a Mirror, Darkly"

"Don't worry Romeo, Juliet's in good hands."
        - John F Paxton, to Trip and T'Pol, "Demons"

Shouldn't this thing have been under much heavier guard?
        - From Jammer's review of "Demons" after Paxton takes control of the 'implausibility' array

UNKNOWN EPISODE

"I heard they went through 'scramble', 'heat', 'disassemble', and 'spear' before they found one that wouldn't scare people. 'Beam' sounds so peaceful and sunny."
        - Travis

OTHER

"Trip— do you ever have problems with anyone on your staff? Fitting in, I mean?"
"Uh-huh."
"Who?"
"All of 'em." He shrugged. "You have good people, you're always going to have some friction when they deal with each other. Especially on a long mission like this, cooped up together day after day after day. The trick is to keep on top of things, keep the lines of communication open, and not to let any bad feelings fester. And make sure you're always the bad guy any time there's a problem." He smiled. "That way they start to hate you, not each other."
        - Malcolm and Trip, in "Enterprise: What Price Honor?" by Dave Stern

"Should we try again, sir?"
"Not so many 'sirs,' remember?"
"All right." She looked up at him. "You have to cut down on the 'ensigns' then."
"Fair enough."
"My name's Alana," she added quickly. "At the Academy, though, everybody called me Laney. Or just Hart."
"Everyone always called me 'Reed' — even my parents, I think."
        - Hart and Reed, on the firing range in "Enterprise: What Price Honor?" by Dave Stern

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