THE X-FILES QUOTES

"I've taken in your all-American features, your dour demeanour, your unimaginative necktie design and concluded you work for the government. An FBI agent. But do you see the tragedy here? I have mistakenly reduced you to a stereotype. A caricature. Instead of regarding you as a specific, unique individual."
"But I am an FBI agent."

- Mulder "Mulder, toads just fell from the sky!"
"Guess their parachutes didn't open." - Guess who? Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly, without betraying my cool exterior? - Mulder "The leader of the Russian Social Democrat party is being put into power by the most heinous & evil force of the 20th Century."
"Barney ??" - Lone Guman & Mulder # SEASON ONE

"Am I to understand that you want me to debunk the X-Files project, sir?"

"They're here, aren't they?"
"Mr. Mulder, "They" have been here for a long, long time." "So, Mulder, what do you think, does this look like the work of little green men?"
"Grey."
"Excuse me."
"Grey. You said green men, a Reticulan skin tone is actually grey, they're notorious for their extraction of terrestrial human livers. Due to iron depletion in the Reticulan galaxy."
"You can't be serious."
"Do you have any idea what liver and onions go for on Reticula?" "I would never lie; I willfully participate in a campaign of misinformation."' "Do you know how hard it is to fake your own death? "Obviously, they either think we're brilliant or expendable, because we pulled the assignment." "She's hot." "Those were the most paranoid people I have ever met. I don't know how you could think that what they say is even remotely plausible."
"I think its remotely plausible that someone might think you're hot." "That's what we like about you, Mulder. Your ideas are weirder than ours." "If a shark stops swimming, it dies. Don't stop swimming, Mr. Mulder." # SEASON TWO

"He's probably one of those people who thinks Elvis is dead."

"Why's it so dark in here?"
"The lights aren't on." "I brought you something... 'Superstars of the Superbowl.' "
"I knew there was a reason to live." # SEASON THREE

"Look, after everything we have just been through, after all that we have just seen. I hope you're not thinking this has anything to do with government conspiracy or UFO's"
"None of the evidence so far indicates either of those possibilities"

"Her name is Bambi?" "Will you let me drive?"
"I'm driving. Why do you always have to drive? Because you're the guy? Because you're the big, macho man?"
"No, I was just never sure your little feet would reach the pedals."
"<mockingly> I'm a macho man. . ." "Uh, Scully. If I'm not mistaken, we're going to take a left up here.. Uh, there's an intersection up here. You're gonna wanna.. Scully! You're going to want.. You just.. ran a stop sign back there, Scully." "We bury our dead alive, don't we." #SEASON FOUR

"I see now the value in such insight, for truly to pursue monsters, we must understand them. We must venture into their minds. Only in doing so, do we risk letting them venture into ours."

"Life.. is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable, because all you get back is another box of chocolates. So, you're stuck with this undefinable whipped mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else left to eat. Sure, once in a while, there's a peanut butter cup, or an english toffee, but they're gone too fast, and the taste is...fleeting. So you end up with nothing but broken bits filled with hardened jelly and teeth-shattering nuts. And if you're desperate enough to eat those, all you've got left is an empty box filled with useless brown paper wrappers." "Dreams are answers to questions we haven't figured out how to ask." "'Although common sense may rule out the possibility of time travel, the laws of quantum physics certainly do not'. In case you forgot, that's from your graduate thesis. You were a lot more open minded when you were a youngster." "Mulder!...Langley, you've got to see this. An online associate of ours, who will remain anonymous, has figured out a way to digitalize the Zapruder footage so that he can extrapolate a bird's eye view of Dealey Plaza at the exact moment of the assassination. You'll never believe where the third shot came from! 'Tell him about the cheese steaks!' Oh Yea, then Frohike, Byers and me are going out for cheese steaks. Are you down with that?........Erase this once you hear it." "This is your Holy Grail Mulder, not mine!"
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It just means that proving to the world the existance of alien life is not my last dying wish." "As I am a medical doctor with a background in hard science, my job was to provide an analytical perspective on the work of Special Agent Fox Mulder, whose investigations into the paranormal were fuelled by a personal belief that his sister had been abducted by aliens when he was twelve. I come here today, four years later, to report on the illegitimacy of Agent Mulder's work. That it is my scientific opinion, that he became over the course of these years a victim, a victim of his own false hopes and of his belief in the biggest of lies." #SEASON FIVE

"Scully, do you think it's too soon to get my own 1-900 number?"

"I was thinking about this case, maybe it's not witchcraft after all. Maybe there's a...maybe there's a scientific explanation."
"A scientific explanation!!" #SEASON SIX

"It's okay. The war's over. Let them take you to Germany. They make nice cars."

"You have nothing to apologize for... Well, except maybe for the Spice Girls." "Fox had a pretty normal life, except for being called Fox, which probably taught him how to fight." "Mulder, when was the last time you were on a date?"
"I will talk with you later."
"The blind leading the blind." "I've perfectly happy with my relationship with Agent Scully." "I do not *gaze* at Scully." "WOMAN! Get back in here and make me a sandwich!" "Mulder, speaking of cleaning up, whoever taught you how to squeeze a tube of toothpaste?" "I got a look at that thing that's been scaring everybody and I take it back. This is an X-File." "Dear Diary: Today my heart leapt when Agent Scully suggested spontaneous human combustion." "Mulder, can't you just for once, just... for the novelty of it, come up with the simplest explanation, the most logical one, instead of automatically jumping to UFOs or Bigfoot or...?"
"Scully, in six years, how... how often have I been wrong?. No, seriously. I mean, every time I bring you a new case we go through this perfunctory dance. You tell me I'm not being scientifically rigorous and that I'm off my nut, and then in the end who turns out to be right like 98.9% of the time? I just think I've... earned the benefit of the doubt here." "Mulder... look, after all you've done, after all you've uncovered-- a conspiracy of men doing human experiments, men who are all now dead-- you exposed their secrets. I mean, you've won. What more could you possibly hope to do or to find?"
"My sister." # POSTMODERN

"Agent Dana Scully is a woman of reason and science, and sharp Armani suits. She is a sterling example of American womanhood, untouchable by human hands."
        - Gimpy, "Undergrads"

On "The X-Files", Scully and Mulder kissed. Well, not exactly. They were aboard a disappearing luxury liner in the Bermuda Triangle, and it was 1939, and Scully wasn't really Scully, and... Oh, never mind.
        - John Carman, reviewing the 1998 November sweeps, "San Francisco Chronicle"

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