The immense popularity
of the Buffyverse, which, in terms of cultural influence, will be for this
generation what "Star Trek" was for the last.
- Jonah Goldberg, "Buffy
and the Battle Against Evil"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
is a far more intelligent show than it really has any right to be.
- Tim Lynch
Buffy virtually jumps
off the screen with creativity and innovation. Never stagnant, it's creativity
in constant motion. You just can't say that about many shows. The reason:
Sarah Michelle Gellar. She's bitter and sexy and tough and smart and vulnerable,
and nobody takes the pop-culture spewing lines of smart writers and makes
them sound better.
- Tim Goodman, picking Buffy as one of 1997's Top 10 Shows
PILOT : WELCOME TO THE HELLMOUTH
Giles : "This world
is older than any of you know. Contrary to popular mythology, it did not
begin as a paradise. For untold eons, demons walked the Earth, and made
it their home -- their Hell. But in time they lost their purchase on this
reality, and the way was made for mortal animals, for Man. All that remains
of the Old Ones are vestiges, certain magicks, certain creatures..."
Buffy : "And vampires."
Cordelia: "The Bronze.
It's the only club worth going to around here. They let anybody in, but
it's still the scene. It's in the bad part of town."
Buffy: "Where's that?"
Cordelia: "About half
a block from the good part of town. We don't have a whole lot of town here."
Willow: "I thought
Xander was gonna' show up."
Buffy: "Oh, are you
guys going out?"
Willow: "No, we're
just friends. We used to go out, but we broke up."
Buffy: "How come?"
Willow: "He stole
my Barbie."
Buffy: "..."
Willow: "Oh, we were
5."
Buffy: "Oh."
Willow: "I don't actually
date a whole lot...lately."
Buffy: "Why not?"
Willow: "Well, when
I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool or witty or
at all. I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away."
Buffy: "It's not that
bad."
Willow: "It is. I
think boys are more interested in a girl who can talk."
Buffy: "You really
haven't been dating lately."
~
SEASON 1 : THE WITCH
Xander: "I laugh in the face of danger, and then I hide until it goes away."
Giles: "Why should
someone want to harm Cordelia?"
Willow: "Maybe because
they met her? Did I say that?"
Xander: "It's not what
you think!"
Willow: "You like
to look at the semi-nude engravings?"
Xander: "Oh, well,
I guess it is what you think."
~
TEACHER'S PET
Buffy : "Do you know
Miss Walsh, the teacher who's subbing for Mr. Gregory?"
Giles : "Yes...she's
lovely, in a common, well-proportioned sort of way."
~
NEVER KILL A BOY ON A FIRST DATE
Giles: "Oh, Emily Dickinson."
Buffy: "We're both
fans?"
Giles: "Yes, she's
quite a good poet. I mean, for uh, a..."
Buffy: "A girl?"
Giles: "For an American."
Giles: "I had very definite plans about my future. I was going to be a fighter pilot. Or possibly a grocer."
~
THE PACK
Xander: "Why do I need
to learn this?"
Willow: "'Cause otherwise
you'll flunk math."
Xander: "Explain the
part where that's bad."
Willow: "You remember.
You fail math. You flunk out of school. You end up being the guy at the
pizza place that sweeps the floor and says, 'Hey kids, where's the cool
parties this weekend?' We've been through this."
~
ANGEL
Willow: "So, we're
talking about a guy?"
Buffy: "Not exactly
a guy. For us to have a conversation about a guy, there'd have to be a
guy for us to have a conversation about. Was that a sentence?"
Buffy : "You want Xander,
you've gotta speak up, girl!"
Willow : "No, no,
no, no. No speaking up. That way leads to madness... and sweaty palms."
~
I ROBOT, YOU JANE
Buffy: "So, you've been seeing a guy, but you don't know what he looks like. Okay, this is a puzzle. No, wait, I'm good at these. Does it involve a midget and a block of ice?"
Willow : "What could
a demon possibly want from me?"
Xander : "What's the
square root of eight hundred and forty-one?"
Willow : "Twenty-nine.
Oh, yeah."
Willow: "Malcolm. Moloch.
Whatever he's called. The one boy that's really liked me and he's a demon
robot. What does that say about me?"
Buffy: "Doesn't say
anything about you."
Willow: "I mean, I
thought I was really falling..."
Buffy: "Hey, did you
forget? The one boy I've had the hots for since I moved here? Turned out
to be a vampire."
Xander: "Right, and
the teacher I had a crush on? Giant preying mantis." Willow: "That's true."
Xander: "That's life
on the Hellmouth."
Buffy: "Let's face
it. None of us are ever gonna' have a happy, normal relationship."
Xander: "We're doomed!"
Willow: "Yeah!" (laughs,
then abrupt silence)
~
NIGHTMARES
Cordelia: "Hello, dufus?
You're in my light."
Xander: "Wendell,
what is wrong with you? Don't you know that she is the center of the universe
and the rest of us merely revolve around her?"
~
INVISIBLE GIRL
Xander: "Oh, hey, do
you want to come to our place for dinner? Mom's making her famous phone
call to the Chinese place."
Willow: "Xander, do
you guys even have a stove?"
~
PROPHECY GIRL
Xander: "You were looking
at my neck."
Angel: "What?"
Xander: "You were
checking out my neck, I saw that."
Angel: "No, I wasn't."
Xander: "Just keep
your distance, pal."
Angel: "I wasn't looking
at your neck."
Xander: "I told you
to eat before we left."
~
He is bright, funny,
and will one day be suave and handsome. Until that day arrives, he'll do
the best he can with bright and funny.
- from "Welcome to the Hellmouth" script, describing Xander
"We have asked TV3
not to run our ad while Buffy the Vampire Slayer is being aired as we feel
it wouldnt be in good taste."
- Funeral director Keith Massey on his firm's first Irish TV commercials
"You might be better
off watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer on the other channel."
- Pat Spillane, introducing a dour GAA game on RTE 2's "The Sunday Game"
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