Funny Sound Files

"Why is it a penny for your thoughts, but you have to put your two cents in ? Somebody's makin' a penny."

"We want this and that. We demand a share in that and most of that. Some of this and fuckin' all of that. Less of that and more of this and fuckin' plenty of this. 'Nuther thing! We want it now! I want it yesterday, I want fuckin' more tomorrow. And their demands will all be changed then, so fuckin' stay awake."

Samuel Jackson, "Oh man, I will never forgive your ass for this shit. This is some fucked up, repugnant shit."

Samuel Jackson, "I don't remember askin' you a goddamn thing !"

"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."

"Not an impossible task, but pretty fuckin' close to it."

"I just hate stupid people."

"Sorry ! I fucked up !"

"Did you ever notice how many really stupid people you run into during the day ?"

"I can tell you, I'm getting pretty pissed off."

"Stupid curry eating fuck wit."

"I'm pretty sure that coffee was invented by guys who were sittin' around smokin' anyways, right, and just wanted to drink somethin' that would let 'em stay up late and smoke fuckin' more !"

"You know, you're really too tense. You need to CALM THE FUCK DOWN !"

"I don't know nuthin' about that. All I know is, somebody's gonna get their ass whupped over this thing."

"Well, stick it up your arse then."

"It's always the yogurt, sprout eatin' motherfuckers."