|
|
| BILL |
This is the BBC Home Service |
| FX |
PENNY IN MUG |
| BILL |
Thank you. We now come to the
radio show entirely dedicated to the downfall of John Snagge |
| HARRY |
He refers, of course, to the
highly esteemed Goon Show |
| GRAMS |
SORROWFUL MARCH WITH WAILS |
| HARRY |
Stop! Time for laughs later - but
now to business. Mr Greenslade? Come over here. |
| FX |
CHAINS |
| BILL |
Yes master? |
| HARRY |
Tell the waiting world what we
have for them. |
| BILL |
My lords, ladies and other
National Assistance holders - tonight the League of Burmese Trombonists presents a
bestseller play entitled: |
| ORCH. |
TYMPANY ROLL. HELD UNDER:- |
| PETER |
The Terror Of Bexhill-on-sea or
... |
| ORCH. |
THREE DRAMATIC CHORDS |
| HARRY |
The Dreaded Batter Pudding
Hurler. |
| ORCH. |
CLIMAX. THEN DOWN NOW BEHIND:- |
| BILL |
The English Channel 1941. Across
the silent strip of greengrey water - in England - coastal towns were deserted, except for
people. Despite the threat of invasion and the stringent blackout rules, elderly
gentlefolk of Bexhill-on-sea still took their evening constitutionals. |
| FX |
EBB TIDE ON A GRAVEL BEACH |
| CRUN |
Ohhh - it's quite windy on these
cliffs |
| MINNIE |
What a nice summer evening -
typical English. |
| CRUN |
Mnk yes - the rain's lovely and
warm - I think I'll take one of my sou'westers off - here, hold my elephant gun. |
| MINNIE |
I don't know what you brought it
for - you can't shoot elephants in England |
| CRUN |
Mnk? Why not? |
| MINNIE |
They're out of season. |
| CRUN |
Does this mean we'll have to have
pelican for dinner again? |
| MINNIE |
Yes, I'm afraid so. |
| CRUN |
Then I'll risk it. I'll shoot an
elephant out of season. |
| BOTH |
(Go off mumbling in the distance) |
| BILL |
Listeners who are listening will,
of course, realise that Minnie and Henry are talking rubbish - as erudite people will
realise, there are not elephants in Sussex. They are only found in Kent North on a
straight line drawn between two points thus making it the shortest distance. |
| FX |
PENNY IN MUG |
| BILL |
Thank you. |
| CRUN |
... well, if that's how it is I
can't shoot any. |
| MINNIE |
Come Henry, we'd better be
getting home. I don't want to be caught on the beaches if there's an invasion. |
| CRUN |
Neither do I. I've wearing a
dirty shirt and I - Mnk - don't - |
| FX |
CRANK OF IRON OVEN DOOR |
| CRUN |
... Minnie ? |
| MINNIE |
What what? |
| CRUN |
Did you hear a gas over door slam
just then? |
| MINNIE |
Don't be silly, Henry - who'd be
walking around these cliffs with a gas oven? |
| CRUN |
Lady Docker |
| MINNIE |
Yes, but apart from the obvious
ones - who'd want to ... |
| FX |
WHOOSH - SPLOSH - BATTER PUDDING
HITTING MINNIE |
| MINNIE |
Oooooooooooohohohohohohohohohohoh
... |
| CRUN |
No, I've never heard of him. |
| MINNIE |
Help Henry - I've been struck
down from behind. Help. |
| CRUN |
Mnk - oh dear dear. (Calls)
Police - English Police - Law Guardians??? |
| MINNIE |
Not too loud, Henry, they'll hear
you |
| FX |
POLICE WHISTLE |
| SEAGOON |
(approaching) Can I help you,
sir? |
| CRUN |
Are you a policeman? |
| SEAGOON |
No, I'm a constable. |
| CRUN |
What's the difference? |
| SEAGOON |
They're spelt differently |
| MINNIE |
Ohhhhhh. |
| SEAGOON |
Oh! What's happened to this dear
old silver-bearded lady? |
| CRUN |
She was struck down from behind. |
| SEAGOON |
And not a moment too soon -
congratulations, sir. |
| CRUN |
I didn't do it. |
| SEAGOON |
Coward - hand back your OBE. Now
tell me who did this felonous deed. What's happened to her? |
| CRUN |
It's too dark to see - strike a
light. |
| SEAGOON |
Not allowed in blackout. |
| MINNIE |
Strike a dark light. |
| SEAGOON |
No madam, we daren't. Why, only
twenty-eight miles across the Channel the Germans are watching this coast. |
| CRUN |
Don't be silly-pilly policeman.
They can't see a match being struck. |
| SEAGOON |
Oh, all right. |
| FX |
MATCH STRIKING - QUICK WHOOSH OF
SHELL - SHELL EXPLODES |
| SEAGOON |
Any questions? |
| CRUN |
Yes - where are my legs? |
| SEAGOON |
Are you now aware of the danger
of German long-range guns? |
| CRUN |
Mnk ahh! I've got it - I have the
answer. Just by chance I happen to have on me a box of German matches. |
| SEAGOON |
Wonderful - strike one. They
won't fire at their own matches. |
| CRUN |
Of course not - now ... |
| FX |
MATCH STRIKING - QUICK WHOOSH OF
SHELL - SHELL EXPLODES |
| CRUN |
... Curse ... the British!!! |
| SEAGOON |
We tried using a candle, but it
wasn't very bright and we daren't light it - so we waited for dawn - and there, in the
light of the morning sun, we saw what had struck Miss Bannister. It was - a batter
pudding. |
| ORCH. |
DRAMATIC CHORD |
| CRUN |
It's still warm, Minnie. |
| MINNIE |
Thank Heaven - I hate cold Batter
Pudding. |
| CRUN |
Come, Minnie, I'll take you home
- give you a hot bath - rub you down with the anti-vapour rub - put a plaster on your back
- give your feet a mustard bath, and then put you to bed. |
| SEAGOON |
Do you know this woman? |
| CRUN |
Devilish man - of course I do -
this is Minnie Bannister, the world famous poker player. Give her a good poker and she'll
play any tune you like. |
| SEAGOON |
Well, get her off this cliff,
it's dangerous. Meantime, I must report this to the Inspector. I'll call on you later -
goodbye. |
| FX |
(PAUSE) DISTANT SPLASH |
| SEAGOON |
As I swam ashore I dried myself
to save time. That night I lay awake in my air-conditioned dustbin thinking - who on earth
would want to strike another with a Batter Pudding? Obviously it wouldn't happen again, so
I fell asleep. Nothing much happened that night - except that I was struck with a Batter
Pudding. |
| SPIKE |
Mmmmmmm - it's all rather
confusing, really. |
| BILL |
In the months to come,
thirty-eight Batter Puddings were hurled at Miss Bannister - a madman was at large -
Scotland Yard were called in. |
| ORCH. |
LINK |
| G-T |
(Sanders throughout) Inspector
Seagoon - my name is Hercules Grytpype-Thynne, Special Investigation. The Batter Pudding
Hurler- |
| SEAGOON |
Yes? |
| G-T |
He's made a fool of the police. |
| SEAGOON |
I disagree - we were fools long
before he came along |
| G-T |
You silly twisted boy.
Nevertheless, he's got to be stopped - now Seagoon - |
| SEAGOON |
Yes yes yes yes yes yes? |
| G-T |
... Please don't do that. Now,
these Batter Puddings - they were obviously thrown by hand. |
| SEAGOON |
Not necessarily - some people are
pretty clever with their feet. |
| G-T |
For instance? |
| SEAGOON |
Tom Cringingknut |
| G-T |
Who's he? |
| SEAGOON |
He's a man who's pretty clever
with his feet. |
| G-T |
What's he name? |
| SEAGOON |
Jim Phlatrok |
| G-T |
Sergant Throat |
| THROAT |
Sir? |
| G-T |
Make a note of that. |
| THROAT |
Right. Anything else? |
| G-T |
Yes. |
| THROAT |
Right. |
| G-T |
Good. Now Seagon, these Batter
Puddings - were they all identical |
| SEAGOON |
All except the last one. Inside
it - we found this. |
| G-T |
Oh! An Army Boot. So the Dreaded
Hurler is a military man. Any troops in the town. |
| SEAGOON |
The fifty-sixth Heavy Underwater
Artillery. |
| G-T |
Get there at once - arrest the
first soldier you see wearing one boot. |
| SEAGOON |
Ying tong iddle I po |
| G-T |
Right - off you go. |
| ORCH. |
BLOODNOK SIGNATURE TUNE. |
| BLOODNOK |
Bleiough - aeioughhh -
bleioughhhh - how dare you come here to my H.Q. with such an - |
| SEAGOON |
I tell you, Major Bloodnok, I
must ask you to parade your men. |
| BLOODNOK |
Why? |
| SEAGOON |
I'm looking for a criminal |
| BLOODNOK |
You find your own - it took me
years to get this lot |
| SEAGOON |
Ying tong iddle I po. |
| BLOODNOK |
Very well then - Bugler Max
Geldray? Sound fall in - the hard way |
| MAX & ORCHESTRA |
THEY WERE DOING THE MAMBO |
|
(Applause) |
| ORCHESTRA & CAST |
(Murmers of distrust) |
| BLOODNOK |
Silence lads! I'm sorry I had to
get you out of bed in the middle of the day, but I'll see you get extra oay for this. |
| ORCHESTRA |
You flat 'eaded kipper - Gawn,
drop dead - I'll claht yer flippin' |
| BLOODNOK |
Ahhhhhh, that's what I like,
spirit. Now Seagoon - which is the man. |
| SEAGOON |
I walked among the ranks looking
for the soldier with one boot, but my luck was out; the entire regiment were barefooted -
all save the officers, who wore reinforced concrete socks. |
| BLOODNOK |
Look Seagoon, it's getting dark.
You can't see in this light. |
| SEAGOON |
I'll strike a match |
| FX |
MATCH...WHOOSH OF SHELL,
ExPLOSION. |
| SEAGOON |
Curse, I forgot about the
Germans. |
| ECCLES |
We want our beddy byes |
| SEAGOON |
Who are you? |
| ECCLES |
Lance Private Eccles, but most
people call me by my nickname. |
| SEAGOON |
What's that? |
| ECCLES |
Hahum, Nick. |
| SEAGOON |
I inspected the man closely - he
was the nearest thing I'd seen to a human being, without actually being one. |
| BLOODNOK |
Surely you don't suspect this man
- why, we were together in the same company during that terrible disaster. |
| SEAGOON |
What company was that. |
| BLOODNOK |
Desert Song 1933. |
| SEAGON |
Were you both in the D'Oyly
Carte? |
| BLOODNOK |
Right in the D'Oyly Carte. |
| SEAGOON |
I don't wish to know that, but
wait!! At last - by the light of a passing glue factory - I saw that Eccles was only
wearing - one boot! |
| ECCLES |
Well, I only got one boot. |
| SEAGON |
I know, but why are you wearing
it on your head? |
| ECCLES |
Why? It fits, dat's why - what a
silly question - why - why - |
| SEAGOON |
Let me see that boot. (Sotto)
Mmmmm, size nineteen ... (Aloud) What size head have you got? |
| ECCLES |
Size nineteen. |
| SEAGOON |
Curse, the man's defence was
perfect. Major Blooknok? |
| BLOODNOK |
How dare you call me Major
Bloodnok. |
| SEAGONN |
That's your name. |
| BLOODNOK |
In that case, I forgive you. |
| SEAGOON |
Where's this man's other boot. |
| BLOODNOK |
Stolen. |
| SEAGOON |
Who by? |
| BLOODNOK |
A thief. |
| SEAGOON |
You sure it wasn't a pickpocket? |
| BLOODNOK |
Positive, Eccles never keeps his
boots in his pocket. |
| SEAGOON |
Damn. They had a watertight alibi
- but just to make sure, I left it in a fish tank overnight. Next morning my breast pocket
phone rang. |
| FX |
Ring |
| SEAGOON |
Hello? |
| CRUN |
Mr. Seagoon, Minnie's been hit
with another Batter Pudding. |
| SEAGOON |
Well, that's nothing new. |
| CRUN |
It was - this one was stone cold. |
| SEAGOON |
Cold?? |
| CRUN |
Yes, he must be losing interest
in her. |
| SEAGOON |
It proves also that the phantom
Batter Pudding Hurler has had his gas-pipe cut off! Taxi! |
| FX |
BAGPIPES - RUNNING DOWN |
| SPIKE |
Yes? |
| SEAGOON |
The Bexhill Gas Works, and step
on it. |
| SPIKE |
Yes. |
| FX |
BAGPIPES, RUNNING UP, AND FADING |
| BILL |
Listeners may be puzzeled by a
taxi sounding like bagpipes. The truth is, it's all part of the BBC new economy campaign.
They have discovered that it's cheaper to travel by bagpipes. Not only are they more
musical, but they come in a wide variety of colors. See your local bagpipe offices and ask
for particulars - you won't be disappointed. |
| SPIKE |
It's all rather confusing really
... |
| PETER |
Meantime, Neddie Seagoon had
arrived at the Bexhill Gas and Coke Works. |
| SEAGOON |
Phewwww blimeyyy - anyone about. |
| ODIUM |
Yererererere. |
| SEAGON |
Good |
| ODIUM |
Yerrer. |
| SEAGOON |
I'd like a list of people who
haven't paid their gas bills. |
| ODIUM |
Yerererere. |
| SEAGOON |
Oh thank you. Now here's a good
list, I'll try this number |
| FX |
DIALING |
| SEAGOON |
Think we've got him this time;
hello? |
| PETER |
(Using Winston Churchill voice)
Ten Downing Street here? |
| SEAGOON |
(gulp) I'm sorry. |
| FX |
CLICK |
| SEAGOON |
No, it couldn't be him, who would
he want to throw a Batter Pudding at? |
| FX |
RING |
| SEAGOON |
Hello? Police here. |
| SPIKE |
This is Mr. Attlee, someone's
just throw a Batter Pudding at me. |
| ORCHESTRA |
TYMPANY ROLL HELD UNDER NEXT
SPEECH |
| SEAGOON |
Months went by, I couldn't stop
them. Still no sign of the Dreaded Hurler. Finally I walked the streets of Bexhill at
night disguised as a human man. Then suddenly! |
| ORCHESTRA |
FLARING CHORD |
| SEAGOON |
Nothing happened. But it happened
suddenly. Disappointed, I lit my pipe. |
| FX |
MATCH. WHOOSH OF SHELL. EXPLOSION
OF SHELL. |
| SEAGOON |
Curse those Germans. |
| MORIARTY |
Pardon me, my friend. |
| SEAGOON |
I turned to see the speaker. He
was a tall man wearing sensible feet, and a head to match. He was dressed in the full
white outfit of a Savoy chef. Around his waist were tied several thousand cooking
instruments. Behind him he pulled a portable gas stove from which issued forth the smell
of Batter Pudding. |
| MORIARTY |
Could I borrow a match? You see
my gas has gone out and my Batter Pudding was just browning. |
| SEAGOON |
Certainly, here - no - heep the
whole box - I have another match at home. |
| MORIARTY |
(Slight 'Jewish' intonations) So
rich. |
| MORIARTY |
Well, thank you m'sieur - you
have saved my Batter Pudding from getting cold. There's nothing worse than being struck
down with a cold batter pudding. |
| SEAGOON |
Oh yes. |
| MORIARTY |
Good night. |
| SEAGOON |
I watched the strange man as he
pulled his gas stove away into the darkness. But I couldn't waste time watching him - my
job was to find the Dreaded Batter Pudding Hurler. |
| BILL |
Those listeners who think that
Seagoon is not cut out to be a detective - please write to him care of Rowton House. |
| SEAGOON |
On December 25th the Hurler
changed his tactics. That day Miss Bannister was struck with a Christmas Pudding.
Naturally, I searched the workhouse. |
| WILLIUM |
No sir - we ain't had no
Christmas puddin' here, have we mate? |
| SPIKE |
No. |
| WILLIUM |
We ain't had none for three
years, have we mate? |
| SPIKE |
No. It's all rather confusing
really. |
| CRUN |
(Aproaching) Ahhh Mr Sniklecrum. |
| MINNIE |
Ahhhh. |
| SEAGOON |
Mr Crun, Miss Bannister, what are
you doing here? |
| CRUN |
Mnk, Minnie had a letter this
morning. |
| MINNIE |
I had a letter. |
| CRUN |
Mn gnup ... I'll tell him Minnie. |
| MINNIE |
Thank you, Henry. |
| CRUN |
Mnk - yes she had a - |
| MINNIE |
Yes, you tell him. |
| CRUN |
All right, I'll tell... |
| MINNIE |
... Yes ... |
| CRUN |
She had a lett... |
| SEAGON |
Yes, I know she had a letter -
what about it? |
| CRUN |
It proves that the Batter Pudding
Hurler is abroad. |
| SEAGOON |
What? Why? How? |
| CRUN |
It was postmarked Africa, and
inside was a portion of Batter Pudding. |
| MINNIE |
Yes, he hasn't forgotton me. |
| SEAGOON |
So he's in Africa, now we've got
him cornered. I must leave at once. Bluebottle. |
| BLUEBOTTLE |
I heard you call, my Captain, I
heard my Captain call - waits for audience applause - not a sausage - puts on I don't care
expression as done by Aneurin Bevan at Blackpool Conservative Rally. |
| SEAGOON |
Bluebottle, you and I are going
to Africa. |
| BLUEBOTTLE |
Good, can we take sandwiches? |
| SEAGOON |
Only for food. Any questions? |
| BLUEBOTTLE |
No. |
| SEAGOON |
I can't answer that, can you? |
| BLUEBOTTLE |
No. |
| SEAGOON |
Ignorant swine! Got that down,
Sergeant Throat? |
| THROAT |
Yes. |
| SEAGOON |
Good. |
| THROAT |
Yes. |
| SEAGOON |
Right, we catch the very next
troop convoy to Algiers. And who better to drive us out of the country than Ray Ellington
and his Quartet? |
| QUARTET |
OL' MAN RIVER |
|
(Applause) |
| ORCHESTRA |
VICTORY AT SEA |
| PETER |
And now ... |
| FX |
WASH OF THE WAVES ON SHIP'S PROW |
| BILL |
Seagoon and Bluebottle travelled
by sea. To avoid detection by enemy U-boats they spoke German throughout the voyage,
heavily disguised as Spaniards. |
| PETER |
As an added precaution they
travelled on separate decks and wore separate shoes on different occasions. |
| SEAGOON |
The ship was disguised as a
train, to make the train sea-worthy it was done up to look like a boat and painted to
appear like a tram. |
| SPIKE |
... all very confusing really. |
| SEAGOON |
Also on board wre Major Bloodnok
and his regiment. When we were ten miles from Algiers we heard a dreaded cry. |
| ECCLES |
(off) Mine ahead - dreadful
sea-mine ahead. |
| BLOODNOK |
(Aproach) What's happening here -
why are all these men cowering down on deck, the cowards? |
| SEAGOON |
There's a mine ahead. |
| BLOODNOK |
Mi - |
| FX |
HURRIED FOOTSTEPS FADING AWAY.
SPLASH |
| SEAGOON |
Funny, he wasn't dressed for
swimming. |
| ECCLES |
Hey, dere's no need to worry
about the mine. |
| BLUEBOTTLE |
Yes, I must worry, I don't want
to be dreaded, I'm wearing my best sports shirt (Hurriedly puts on cardboard tin hat). |
| ECCLES |
Don't worry, dat mine, it can't
hurt us, it's one of ours. |
| FX |
EXPLOSION |
| SEAGOON |
Eccles, is the ship sinking? |
| ECCLES |
Only below the sea. |
| SEAGOON |
We must try and save the ship.
Help me get it into the lifeboat. |
| ECCLES |
Ok ... Upppppp. |
| BOTH |
(Grunts and groans) |
| ECCLES |
It's no good, the ship won't fit
into the lifeboat. |
| SEAGOON |
What a ghastly oversight by the
designer. Never mind, it leaves room for one more in the boat. |
| BLOODNOK |
I'm willing to fill that vacancy. |
| SEAGOON |
How did you get back on board? |
| BLOODNOK |
I was molested by a lobster with
a disgusting mind. |
| SEAGOON |
Right, Bloodnok, do your duty. |
| BLOODNOK |
(Calls) Woman and children first. |
| SEAGOON |
Blooknok, take that dummy out of
your mouth. |
| ECCLES |
Hey, don't leave me behind. |
| BLOODNOK |
And why not? |
| ECCLES |
...Give me time and I'll think of
a reason. |
| BLOODNOK |
Right, wait here until Apple
Blossom Time - meantime, Seagoon, lower away |
| FX |
WINCHES GOING |
| ECCLES |
Hey, if you make room for me,
I'll pay ten pounds. |
| FX |
SPLASH |
| SEAGOON |
(Off) You swine Bloodnok. |
| BLOODNOK |
Business is business - get in
Eccles. |
| ECCLES |
Ta. |
| SEAGOON |
(Off) Look, I'll pay twenty
pounds for a place in the boat. |
| FX |
SPLASH |
| BLOODNOK |
(Off) Aeiogh, you double crosser
Eccles. |
| ECCLES |
Get in, Captain Seagoon |
| SEAGOON |
Ahhh, Thank you Eccles, myyy
friend. |
| BLOODNOK |
(Off) Thirty pounds for a place. |
| FX |
SPLASH |
| ECCLES |
(off) You ain't my friend. |
| BLOOKNOK |
Ahhhhh, good old Seagoon, you've
saved me. |
| SEAGOON |
My pal. |
| ECCLES |
(Off) Fifty pounds for a place in
the boat. |
| FX |
TWO SPLASHES |
| SPIKE |
Alert listeners will have heard
two splashes. This means the both Bloodnok and Seagoon have been hurled in the water. Who
could have done this? |
| BLUEBOTTLE |
Ha heuheuheuheuhuh - I dood it I
doo - I hid behind a tin of dry biscuits and then I grabbed their tootsies and upppp into
the water - ha heheu heuhhhhh - |
| ECCLES |
Bluebottle, you saved my life. |
| BLUEBOTTLE |
O ha well, we all make mistakes!
I like this game, what school do you go to? |
| ECCLES |
Reform (Fading out) |
| SEAGOON |
Tricked by the brilliant planning
of Bluebottle and Eccles, Bloodnok and I floundered in the cruel sea. |
| FX |
SEA |
| BLOODNOK |
Fortunately we found a passing
lifeboat and dragged ourselves aboard. |
| SEAGOON |
We had no oars, but luckily we
found two outboard motors and we rowed with them. |
| BLOODNOK |
Brilliant. |
| SEAGOON |
For thirty days we drifted to and
fro - then hunger came upon us. |
| BLOODNOK |
Aeioughhhhh - if I don't eat soon
I'll die and if I die I won't eat soon. Wait - (sniff) can I smell cooking or do my ears
deceive me? |
| SEAGOON |
He was right, he has smelly ears.
Something was cooking. There in the other end of the lifeboat was - a gas stove! Could
this be the end of our search. |
| BLOODNOK |
I'll knock on the oven door. |
| FX |
KNOCKING ON OVEN DOOR |
| MORIARTY |
(Off) Just a minute, I'm in the
bath ... |
| FX |
COMING DOWN IRON STAIRS. MORIARTY
SINGING. OVEN DOOR OPENS |
| MORIARTY |
Good morning - I'm sorry - you!! |
| SEAGOON |
Yes, remember Bexhill? I lent you
the matches. |
| MORIARTY |
You don't want them back? |
| SEAGOON |
Don't move, I arrest you as the
Dreaded Batter Pudding Hurler. Hands up you devil, don't move, this finger is loaded. |
| MORIARTY |
If you kill me I promise, you
will never take me alive. |
| BLOODNOK |
Wait, how can we prove it? |
| SEAGOON |
That Batter Pudding in the corner
of the stove is all the evidence we need. We've got him. |
| ORCHESTRA |
CRASHING TRIUMPHANT THEME |
| FX |
QUIET SEA LAPPING OF WAVES |
| BILL |
But it wasn't easy - forty days
they drifted in an open boat. |
| FIDDLE |
HEARTS AND FLOWERS |
| BLOOKNOK |
Oooaeioughhhh, I tell you
Seagoon, let's eat the Batter Pudding or we'll starve! |
| SEAGOON |
No, d'yer hear me, NO! That's the
only evidence we've got. Though I must admit this hunger does give one an appetite. |
| BLOODNOK |
We must eat it or die. |
| SEAGOON |
Never! |
| BLOODNOK |
We must. |
| BOTH |
(Fade off) |
| BILL |
And that, we fear, is the end of
our story, except of course, for the end. We invite listeners to submit what they think
should be the classic ending. Should Seagoon eat the Batter Pudding and live, or leave it
and in the cause of justice, die? Meantime, for those of you cretins who would like a
happy ending, here it is. |
| GRAMS |
SWEET BACKGROUND MUSIC, VERY VERY
SOFT. |
| HARRY |
Darling ... Darling will you
marry me? |
| BLOODNOK |
Of course I will ... darling. |
| BOOL |
Thank you - good night. |
| ORCHESTRA |
SIGNARTURE TUNE: UP AND DOWN FOR: |
| BILL |
That was The Goon Show. A
recorded programme featuring Peter Sellers, Harry Secombe, and Spike Milligan; with the
Ray Ellington Quartet and Max Geldray. The Orchestra was conducted by Wally Scott. Script
by Spike Milligan. Announcer Wallace Greenslade. The programmer produced by Peter Eton. |
| ORCHESTRA |
SIGNARTURE TUNE UP TO END |
|
(Applause) |
| MAX & ORCHESTRA |
CRAZY RHYTHM PLAYOUT |