Index:
The Complete Planner Humour Collection |
|
| Guidelines for successful Planners | |
| Planning Jokes | Planners Staff Structure |
| Planning Explained to the Uninitiated | Planners Jargon Explained |
| The Planning Administrator | |
| Planner Harassment | What Planners mean when they say . . . |
| Planning implications of Earth's creation and Hell | The PLAN |
| What is a Planner - there are two views! | The Rules of Planning |
| When Planners turn to prose - We have stories! First density | Everything I've learned in a Planning Office |
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Sometimes too much to drink is not enough.
The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.
Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends.
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
This is as bad as it can get, but don't count on it.
Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
The trouble with life is, you're halfway through it before you realize it's a do-it-yourself thing.
Youth and skill are no match for experience and treachery.
No amount of advance planning will ever replace dumb luck.
Anything you do can get you fired; this includes doing nothing.
Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it.
If you can smile when everything goes wrong, you probably don't understand the problem.
Morning people: "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise."
Night people: "Anybody who goes to bed the same day they got up is a quitter."
I pretend to work because they pretend to pay me.
Never let a computer know you are in a hurry.
When all else fails, lower your standards.
If at first you don't succeed, call it a day and have a cold beer.
If you can't laugh at yourself, make fun of others
You need to give 100 per cent at work, 15% on Monday, 25% on Tuesday, 35% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday.
Half your colleagues at work are below average.
Here are 42 Sarcastic remarks to get you through any day in a stressful Planning Office. Impress your colleagues by using these humorous quotes and phrases to brighten up the day.