APRIL

Is there any way to fend off a shark without a weapon?

Radiate good will if you wish, speak out for fair play and appreciate the wonders of nature. But not around one of these killing machines, which could leave you tooth-totaled.

Have no pity for the poor fishy, but never mind what you've heard about punching the shark in the nose. A sock in the snoot may give the shark a bloody nose, but it could be your blood. This nautical nightmare is most vulnerable around the eyes and gills. The advice they give to boxers holds here: jab, jab, jab -- short, hard punches. Sharks are bullies, and fighting back puts a damper on their aggressiveness.

If this works, don't go to a neutral corner expecting a referee to count to ten. Depart, with measured haste.

Source: WORST CASE SCENARIOS by Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht




Didja Know...
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Source: Bizzarro)

What's the safest form of transportation?

Well let's see, they say that great music can transport you, figuratively speaking. And even then, the roof of the concert hall might collapse, someone could yell "fire" and you'll be trampled, or you'll die of boredom.

Getting from here to there isn't much safer. There are daily derailments, near-collisions at 20,000 feet and SUV's turning other vehicles into road kill. And you really think you're safe on two wheels in the bicycle lane?

Actually, there's a little trickery afoot (walking is dangerous, too). We didn't say which way we were traveling. How about up and down? The answer is: elevators -- only one death for every 100 million miles traveled. I suspect that the unlucky traveler at the 100 million mark tired of gazing at his shoes or staring straight ahead, and while tilting his head back to look up at the ceiling, broke his neck.

Source: JUST CURIOUS JEEVES by Jack Mingo and Erin Barrett

Are there any dogs that don't bark?

That's almost like asking if there are any dogs that think that a fire hydrant's main purpose is to help put out fires. With most any pooch, barking is a basic civil liberty – unless the cat's got its tongue.

But there really is a canine that doesn't carp, a pup that doesn't prattle on for all the world to hear. Well, in truth, he's not totally silent, but this small dog doesn't bark. The basenji, a good, if silent hunter, originated in Central Africa, and was valued as a pet by the Egyptian Pharaoh's. In a mellow mood, the basenji makes a sound that some have described as yodeling.

Well that's just ducky, a dog that yodels. Next thing you know they'll say it can mimic Madonna or the drumbeat in Queen's "We Will Rock You."

Source: CARNEGIE LIBRARY OF PITTSBURGH, THE HANDY SCIENCE ANSWER BOOK



Didja Know...
In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises. (Source: Bizzarro)

How come dinner knives have rounded edges?

I don't know about you, but I find this much more interesting than queries such as, "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" At least here there's a point. Uh, actually, there isn't, and that is the point.

So, why round off an implement that's made for cutting? To make sure that you cut with couth. Four hundred years ago, in the home of France's Cardinal Richelieu, a dinner guest was uncouth. This guy mistook his dinner knife for a toothpick. The Cardinal was horrified! The fellow who did this dastardly deed might as well have been picking his toes in Poughkeepsie. In response, the Cardinal had all of his dinner knives rounded off, and the custom caught on.

When he wasn't obsessing about the silverware, by the way, Richelieu also helped to create the modern French state.

Source: IMPONDERABLES: THE SOLUTION TO THE MYSTERY OF EVERYDAY LIFE by David Feldman

Why does someone take the "minutes" at a meeting?

The way most meetings drone on, the minutes seem more like hours. Calling the record of the proceedings "minutes" appears to be nothing more than putting a polite spin on the thing.

At least that would be the case if the word in question really were the one we're thinking of. But it's minute, as in "minoot," something very small. The idea is that the recording secretary summarizes in some kind of shorthand what's happening as he or she hears it, and then writes up a larger, expanded account later. The original is comparatively small, or minute.

So why don't we say that someone is taking the "minoots?" What? Do YOU want to sound like a goofus? I wave the reading of the minoots. This meeting is adjourned.

Source: BREWER'S DICTIONARY OF PHRASE AND FABLE


Loony

If you ever find yourself suddenly walking on the moon, be advised that your watch will be off by about two minutes every hour. Not to worry – you will be dead from lack of oxygen before you miss any appointments.

Part of Alaska is actually south of Warsaw. However, many more people speak Polish in Warsaw than do people in any part of Alaska.

Source: ISAAC ASIMOV'S BOOK OF FACTS



Didja Know...
If a person 'passes wind' consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Source: Bizzarro)

Why does the father of the bride usually pay for the wedding?

Spencer Tracy, playing the title role in the first film version of "Father of the Bride," looked perplexed, pained and put upon.

A lot of fathers feel like that when they see the caterer's bill. "Why me?" Because the bride business hasn't changed much since the Middle Ages. Back then, brides were for sale, and the groom paid. In return, her father compensated his new son-in-law with a dowry. Today the dowry is as dead as the do-do bird, but dad still goes into debt. Instead of a dowry, he springs for the celebration. It's symbolic, but the damage it does on one's credit card statement isn't.

So why doesn't the groom still have to pay? Some unhappy husbands will tell you they did, in currency other than cash or credit. When things don't work out, some end up paying an exit, if not an entrance fee.

Source: EVER WONDER WHY? By Douglas B. Smith



Didja Know...
Elvis Presley's final gold record was the 1977 single, "My Way?" (Source: Quizland.com)

Why might we say that someone feeling out of sorts is cranky?

Because they feel that the world is jerking them around? Well that's not too far off. The word is related to that right-angled tool used to start an engine. In the positive sense, you might get cranked up for something. But you could also be cranked in the sense of spun around.

It gets more interesting as we look at the origin of the word "crank." In the Middle Ages, weavers used a bent tool called a crancstaef. It appears that the "cranc" part was related to the word "cringan," which described the bent, contorted, curled and shrunk look of a person severely injured in battle. It may sound as if we're getting further away from the modern sense of being cranky, but it's just the opposite. What's another way of saying a person is cranky? They're bent out of shape.

Source: The Oxford Dictionary of English Etymology



Didja Know...
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Source: Bizzarro)

Why don't fast food restaurants promote their desserts?

Fast food restaurants chains are single-minded about their double whazits. The only things that tend to share the hamburger's spotlight are the fries, which accessorize the burgers, and the chicken and fish concoctions eaten by the burger-impaired part of the population. Soft drinks, the most profitable item, round out the narrow spread of products.

The proof of the pudding for the success of this business model is that they usually don't have to waste too much space or too many advertising dollars on desserts. Their thinking on the matter: As impulse purchases with small profit margins, desserts require too much expensive display space. The bulk of fast food business is at breakfast and lunch, when people are less likely to want dessert. Customers associate fast food places with their specialty, usually burgers, so they don't go there for dessert.

You don't like it? Put some whipped cream on the onion rings.

Source: IMPONDERABLES: THE SOLUTION TO THE MYSTERY OF EVERYDAY LIFE by David Feldman



Didja Know...
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England -- but only in tropical fish stores. (Source: Bizzarro)

Just what is the Golden Gate that the San Francisco bridge is named for?

A year or two ago I would have suggested that "Digital Doorway" would be a more appropriate name. But then nearby Silicon Valley's bytes bit the dust. So Golden Gate it is, but why?

Any "obvious" answer is the wrong answer. It has nothing to do with the mid-19th century California gold rush, for example. The sun is definitely more golden in southern California. And when the fog lifts – you may have to wait until after lunch – it becomes clear that the name doesn't come from the color of the famous bridge, which is red.

Well now, the suspense is over: In 1846, three years before gold was discovered, explorer John C. Fremont named it for another narrow passage, the Golden Horn of the Bosphorus. The ancient Greeks named the Golden Horn because this passage at the end of the Mediterranean led to Byzantium's gold.

Source: WHY THINGS ARE & WHY THEY AREN'T by Joel Achenbach




Didja Know...
Sliced bread was invented in 1928 by Otto Friedrich Rodwedder (Source: Business 2.0)

How do they decide what to name new objects found in outer space?

Personally, I would prefer informal, comfortable names, such as Mabel's Galaxy or Bob's Big Nebula. These would be names suggesting that wherever you went in the universe, you might find a way to kick back in your seat and enjoy a cheeseburger and a brewski.

But it's formal as well as infinite out there, and they've got rules. "They" are the International Astronomical Union. The rules: Stars named by Greek, Roman and Arab astronomers in ancient times retain their names. Newly discovered stars receive not names but numbers, based on their coordinates. Theme names used for geographical features of various heavenly bodies are more imaginative. On Venus, for example, such features are appropriately named for women. If you discover a comet, it's your baby and bears your name. Find a new asteroid and you can call it just about anything. Well I guess you could call it Al's Old Asteroid.

Source: THE HANDY SCIENCE ANSWER BOOK by The Carnegie Library of Pittsburgh

Has the Medal of Honor ever been won by a woman?

One woman, Mary Walker, has won the Congressional Medal of Honor. She earned it for her work as an assistant surgeon with the US army during the Civil War, when the medal was first awarded. The citation that came with the medal, in something of a backhanded compliment, declared that Walker was receiving it because "by reason of her not being a commissioned officer in the military service a brevet or honorary rank can not, under existing laws, be conferred upon her…"

In 1917 the government rescinded Walker's medal, along with medals awarded to several hundred others, because too many had been given out, reducing its value and prestige; henceforth it would be awarded only for valor under fire. Walker refused to return her medal and was vindicated in 1977 when President Carter restored it.

Source: THE BOOK OF ANSWERS by Barbara Berliner