Joke archive for September 2001

SEPTEMBER

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

Legend has it that there is a bar where in the
Ladies Room, there is a very special mirror. If you stand in
front of the mirror and tell the truth, you are granted a wish.
However, if you tell a lie, *POOF* you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again.

A redhead of questionable looks walked into the Ladies Room and stood before the mirror and said, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world." *POOF* The mirror swallowed her.

Next, a rather large brunette stood before the mirror and said,
"I think I'm the sexiest woman alive! *POOF* The mirror swallowed her.

Then an absolutely gorgeous blond came in and stood before the mirror and said, "I think..." *POOF*

Heart Attack

A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the
hospital. While on the operating table she has a near death
experience. During that experience she sees God and ask if this is it.

God says no and explains that she has another 30 years to live.
Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even has someone come in and change her hair color. She figures since she's got another 30 years she might as well make the most of it. She walks out of the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital.

She arrives in front of God and complains: "I thought you said I had another 30 years.

God replies, "I didn't recognize you."