Paul's Story

| Drugs: the extent of the problem | Treatment | Alcohol | Punishment and Welfare | Paul's story |

I'm the third oldest of seven children, four boys and three girls. None of the girls have been in trouble but the boys have. I've been in prison loads of times. I'm twenty now and was in prison for my birthday this year and when I was sixteen, seventeen and nineteen. I was only out for my eighteenth. My dad was inside too. So was my step-dad. Two of my brothers have been in jail. The youngest one hasn't but he's only five.

I never got on with my mum. Spent most of my life in children's homes and with foster families. I got my first sentence when I was sixteen - nine months in St. Pat's for possession of a firearm and trespassing. It was hard at first because I was afraid that I'd be raped by a big fat prisoner. A copper told me that this would happen.

The screws [prison officers] are ignorant. They do fuck all for you. They are rejects from the garda. For 25% of them it's just a job. The other 75% are scumbags. They like to know they have power. They have the attitude that they're in charge and you have to do what they say. They look at you as if you're dirt. They need to be taught in training that we are human beings and not to treat us like animals. If they wanted to work with animals they should work with the RSPCA or a vet. When new fellas come in they are attached to a more experienced screw to learn the ropes so they start to behave in the same way.

When the judge sentences you he takes away your freedom. He doesn't send you in to be abused by screws. I don't mean that we should be pampered and that. We are there for punishment. But they should treat us with respect and acknowledge that we're human beings. Then we would treat them with respect. It shouldn't be us against the screws and them against us.

For the past four years heroin has been a major part of my life. I loved it so much even though it was wrecking me. When I went inside I was strung out all the time. There could be forty of us on a landing and twenty-five would be using. There might be three or four syringes, so everyone shared. I have hepatitis C but I don't have the virus.

Last time I was in Mountjoy I went on the treatment programme. It was good. You do a detox first and then have counselling and group therapy. It lasts for eight weeks and when you graduate you get a certificate. I went to Coolmine afterwards but it didn't suit me. I legged it after a day and went straight back on the gear.

There are only nine places on the treatment programme. This is crazy. There are hundreds of men who need counselling and proper detox. They should set up a whole wing for treatment. I've decided to stop using now. But this is not because of anything that happened to me in prison. I just want to get my head together and turn my life around. I'm only twenty so it's not too late.

I want to find a job and get my own flat. I'm going to pay my tax. I'm going to do my bit for the country. I'm going to be a model citizen. In ten years time I'd like to be settled down, married with kids, not looking over my shoulder. Just like any family man. I'd like to be working and to have bills.

I visited my dad in prison and my daughter visited me here. There's no way I'll be visiting my children in prison. My kids won't be in trouble. As long as I'm alive they won't be. I'll give them the love and affection they need. I'll tell them that if they're going to do something stupid to think about the consequences. To always think before you act. This is better than feeling sorry for yourself afterwards.

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