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Stewie | Brian | Peter | Lois | Chris | Meg | Lesley |

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Scooby Do Skit (Lmao)
Episode Guide



Stewie Griffin

Stewie Sounds
Stewie Griffin is a one year-old baby with a single goal: Total World domination. He has the voice and manner of an evil Rex Harrison, but he's only recently celebrated the one year anniversary of his escape from his mother's "cursed ovarian Bastile," in which he was incarcerated for nine gruelling months. Stewie has vowed to defeat his mother's matriarchal tyranny and topple the "gynocracy" she rules.
Just because Lois has narrowly escaped several attempts on her life thus far (from a box of chocolates filled with active grenades to a barrage of arrows shot straight for her head) doesn't mean she's in the clear yet, Stewie might begrudge Lois a modicum of respect for being the worthy adversary she is, but don't be fooled. One day her uppance shall come!
In fact, if it were not for his lack of muscle tone, tiolet training, and his need for parental'y provided sustenance, Stewie would have already gained control over most of the third world, including Canada. Until his dominion over all mankind comes to fruitation, anyone or anything that interferes with his grand plan shall be destroyed. And if he can create a machine that controls the weather, what makes you think he won't be able to control you, hmmm?

Can I count to three? For God's Sake I'm already shooting at 5th grade level

Stewie why don't u play in the other room.
Why don't u burn in hell.
We-ell, no dessert for u young man


Silence you contemptable shrew
Awh, I bet ur gums are still sore.
Ooohh you're so observant, aren't u? Are you a detective?

Silence! Ever since you two met you've done nothing but rasp idiotic. I must escape this infernal battle. Ahh
Oohh what a little explorer!
Yes he's so full of wonder
Oh to be the Lindeburg baby right about now

Dah! Put me down you propunating blunderpots

There, how's that feel?
Well...it's delightful

I became a whole different person
Silence you contemptable shrew
Oh i bet your gums are still sore
Oh you're so observant aren't u. Are u a detective? Of course my gums are sore. Oh enough of this. I must complete my time-machine, move time forward and end this agony

It's probably just a shame, Louis. U're just a harmless little carpet tickler, aren't u?
Well, the outrages I have suffered today will not be soon forgotten and i will not be forgetting those outrages NO NO no this will not be forgotten those outrages
Yeah i think we got it

I'm a little tea-pot short and stoat
here is my handle here is my spout
when i get all steamed up hear me shout
Louis it looks as if puddles has done it again
he's wet everything-ha ha ha

Good God! I've been adopted by a Benetton ad

Hmm...i've squandered my munition budget on that insipid rugrats video. Perhaps I should seek employment. Mother teaches the piano and so could I. Alright try it again Richard and remember the wrong keys are electrified

Emailing Death

Day 1 /71..I've sprouted another finger counting the one from yesterday. I'm up to 11

Good God man- one can only imagine what foul regions that finger has earthwhile probed/A>

Damnit to the bowels of bloody hell

I'll give u whatever u want. Whatever they are paying u I'll double it. Money, women...men?

Oh blast u and ur extrogenical treachery

Honey, I'm doing the dishes
Oh well a thousand pardons for disrupting your sanitation ritual but u see i'm in searing pain


Hello mother- care to partake in one of your oh so exhilarating games of peekabo?

I must prepare for my journey. The grenades , packet full of cheerios

I will not stand idly by while u abrigate my plans. U shal roo this day..well go on..start rooing

Ahh useless everyone of u....fine i'll defend myself and the hell with all of us..ah...there i've gone and soiled myself..happy now

Damn u vile woman..u've impeded my work since the day i excaped from ur wretched womb

Very well I order u to kill me at once

Who the hell do u think u are




Brian Griffin

Brian Sounds

Brian Griffin is more than just the family dog. He is a gentleman and a scholar, and undeniably the most eloquent member of Griffin household. Brian is the first person Peter will turn to in times of crisis. But the sarcastic barbs that Brian doles out can be as dry as his martinis.
Yes, Brian has been known to toss back a few. Some say it's to kill the pain that comes with the social stigma of being a dog.
Others say it's to help him forget the time before he met peter, when he was a homless stray who cleaned windshields for handouts. But brian will tell you it's just good for his coat.
Drinking and throwing out witty bon mots aren't the only things Brian is good at. If you ask him to speak, don't be surprised if he responds in flawless french. He's also got an amazing voice. He can sing all four parts of a barber shop quartet simultaneously.
In short, Brian might be the family dog, but don't tell him that. Did we mention that Brian also holds a third-degree green belt in Taekwondo? And in seven more years he'll be a black belt. That's one more year to you and me.

Hey barkeep..who's leg dya have to hump to get a dry martini around here

Brian drunk

Why are the pretty ones always so dumb?

It's probably just a shame, Louis. U're just a harmless little carpet tickler, aren't u?
Well, the outrages I have suffered today will not be soon forgotten and i will not be forgetting those outrages NO NO no this will not be forgotten those outrages
Yeah i think we got it


Peter Griffin
Peter Sounds

Peter is a big, boisterous, lovable oaf who isn't afraid to say what's on his freakin' mind; usually the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time. He lives in Quahog, Rhode Island with his wife lois, and their three children--Chris, Meg, and Stewie--and his well-spoken best friend, Brian, the family dog. Peter would do anything for his family, as long as it doesn't get in the way of his TV time.
Peter works as a product safety inspector at the Happy-Go-Lucky Toy Company. He has dreams of being more than a grunt on the assembly line and frequently comes up with new toy designs, most recently "Mr. Zucchini Head", a phallic-shaped, vibrating vegetable doll. Luckily for him, his flamboyant boss, Mr. Weed, regards Peter as "eye candy" and overlooks his lack of efficiency and productivity.
What Peter lacks in common sence and good judgement, he makes up for in enthusiasm. He often goes overboard when he latches onto an idea. Wether he's leading an improvisation scene during a bank robbery or running barefoot in the rain with William Shatner, Peter Griffen is always looking for fun.

Ha ha ha Louis loves her family..Louis loves her family..Louis and her family sitting in a tree

What's the difference between pornography and art...a government grant!!

Joe's stealing my fun-day. Hey look..hey look...i fell in the pool with my clothes on...how cool is that...ha guys..guys..guys

Will U sign my ass?


Lois Griffin

Lois Sounds



Lois is a modern-day housewife who finds time to cook, clean, run errands, teach piano, and avoid daily attempts on her life by her baby son, Stewie. Of course, a mother's love runs deep. So deep in this case, that Lois is blind to Stewie's matricidal intentsions, attributing his perpetualt foul mood to plain old crankiness.
Born in uppercrust Newport, Rhode Island, the one time heiress to the Pewterschmidt family estate, gave up the privileged life to be with the towel boy she fell in love with. She hasn't looked back since.
No matter how many times Peter falls down (in some cases due to too many Pawtucket Patriot beers), Lois is right there to pick him up again. Lois is generally the voice of reason that Peter can't hear until it's too late. However, even Lois has been known to temporarily leave her senses. In fact, rumor has it she's put on bold and seductive piano performances right in the family's basement.
Honey, I'm doing the dishes
Oh well a thousand pardons for disrupting your sanitation ritual but u see i'm in searing pain


I became a whole different person
Silence you contemptable shrew
Oh i bet your gums are still sore
Oh you're so observant aren't u. Are u a detective? Of course my gums are sore. Oh enough of this. I must complete my time-machine, move time forward and end this agony


Chris Griffin

Chris Sounds

Chris Griffin is an overgrown, sweet-hearted thirteen year-old who looks imposing, but wouldn't hurt a fly. Unless it landed on his hot dog, his favorite food. In that case, Chris would probably treat the fly as a condiment.
Being a somewhat gulible lad, Chris often falls prey to his older sister's tormenting. It's not uncommon for Chris to believe the most far-fetched tales his sister feeds him. Still, Chris loves his big sister, which is probably why he continues to seek her advice with his problems. Chris idolizes Peter and works hard not to disappoint him. It's a good thing for Chris that his father's expectations are so low. Still, Chris does have some hidden talents, especially his ability to draw. He should probably spend more time cultivating his skill and less time with Peter in front of the boob tube, looking for boobs.



Oh he's gay



Meg Griffin

Meg Sounds

Sixteen year-old Meg Griffin lives a difficult life. Just ask her. From having thin lips to being unpopular, Meg is constantly struggling for acceptance by the "in" crowd, or any crowd for that matter.
A bit of a drama queen, Meg pines for her hunky new neighbor, Kyle. Unfortunately, not even collagen lip injections, a clingy new dress, or an eleven-hundred dollar Prada bag seem to get her any closer to first base.


Oh u wish..get out of here you mouth breeder



Lesley McCammant

Lesley McCammant is Peter's seventeen-year-old Canadian niece who struggles through life constantly trying to make the best of her remaining years as a teenager. She lives with the Griffin's and has a major thing for Brian. She has often been told that she can be a little too mature for her age. Although she does not attend school, she is fairly smart and is often underestimated by Stewie, who thinks Lesley doesn't have a single living brain cell in her head.
Lelsey can often be seen duking it out with Peter and Stewie. She doesn't get along with either one of them. But when it is time to baby-sit, she takes matters into her own hands and doesn't take crap from anybody. Yes, Lesley is also the family baby-sitter. Like Lois, Lesley can also play the piano, and can't keep her boyfriend from drinking too many martini's.
In the past, Lesley has had many relationships go wrong. But it seems the one she has developed with Brian is going great! Why not? They live together, and have a lot in common. Except for the drinking part. Brian confessed to Lesley he liked her when she broke up with Damien (prince of darkness). Since then, they have been inseparable. Although they have had their ups and downs, they are still together.