Prank Calls


Moe: Phone call for Al... Al Coholic... is there an Al Coholic here? 
(laughter)
Moe:  Wait a minute..  Listen, you little yellow-bellied rat jack@ss, ifI ever find out who you are, I'm gonna kill you!

Moe:  Oliver Klothesoff!   Call for Oliver Klothesoff!
(laughter)
Moe: Wait a minute... Listen you lousy bum, if I ever get a hold of you, I swearI'll cut your belly open!

Moe: Uh.. I.P. Freely?  Hey, everybody, I.P. Freely!<(laughter)
Moe: Wait a minute... Listen to me you lousy bum.  When I get a hold ofyou, you're dead.  I swear I"m gonna slice your heart in half!

>Moe: Uh, Jacques Strap!  Hey guys!  I'm looking for a Jacques Strap!
(laughter)
Wait a minute.. It's you, isn't it ya cowardly little runt?!  WhenI get a hold of you, I'm gonna gut you like a fish and drink your blood!

Moe: Hey, is there a Butz here?  Seymour Butz?  Hey everybody,  I wanna Seymour Butz!
(laughter)
Moe: Oh, wait a minute... Listen you little scum-sucking pus-bucket!  WhenI get a my hands on you, I'm gonna put out your eyeballs with a corkscrew!

Moe: Uh, Homer Sexual?  Aw, come on, one of you guy has gotta be HomerSexual!
Homer: Don't look at me!
Moe: Oh, no.. You rotten little punk!  If I ever get a hold of you, I'll sink my teeth into your cheek and rip your face off!

Moe: Mike Rotch!  Mike Rotch!  Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?!
(laughter)
Listen,you little puke.  One of these days, I'm gonna catch you, and I'mgoing to carve my name on your back with an ice pick!

Moe: Uh, hey, everybody!  I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a bigbutt, and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.  Oh, waita minute..

Moe: Uh, Hugh Jass?  Ok, somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass!
HughJass:  Hello?

Moe: Bea O'Problem!  Bea O'Problem!  Come guys, do I have a Bea O'Problemhere?
Barney: You sure do!
(laughter)
Moe: Oh... It's you, isn't it?  Listen, you.  When I get a hold ofyou, I'm going to use you head for a bucket and paint my house with yourbrains!

Moe: Amanda Huggenkiss!  Ah, why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss?
Barney: Maybe your standards are too high!
(laughter)
Moe: You little S.O.B.!  Why.. When I find out who you are, I'm going toshove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs up your butt!

Moe: Tinkle?  Ivana Tinkle?  All right, everybody, put down your glasses. Ivana Tinkle!

(whenMoe substitutes for Bart's class)
Moe: OK, when I call your name, uh, you say "present" or "here".  Er, no,say "present".  Ahem, Anita Bath?
All right, settle down.  Anita Bath here?
All right, fine, fine.  Maya Buttreeks?
Hey!  What are you laughing at?  What?  Oh, oh, I get it, I get it. It's my big ears, isn't kids?  Isn't it?  Well, children, I can'thelp that!