Jack Long - Public Announcement

Jack Long works with me in the Revenue Commissioners. Every year, he organises a half-day drinking session before Christmas. I call it the Shocking Half-Day (you'd want to be an Irish civil servant to understand...) Here's Jack's announcement for the 1997 piss-up...

The countdown has begun.

The annual half-day shopping is nearly upon us.

Only a little while to go now.

Root out your drinking pants now, while there's rooting in you.

Friday, 5 December, 1997 in the Quill at 12.30 or there or thereabouts.

Drinking to excess without a care in the world.

No work in the afternoon.

The following rules apply:-

• No going back to work in the afternoon.
• No good clothes allowed.
• No vomiting on other participants (vomiting on yourself is permitted).
• No story telling afterwards
• No shopping.
• No work/union/knitting to be discussed under any circumstances.
• No singing of "Slip Sliding Away" by anyone.
• Pool and darts are mandatory at an undecided time.
• Prizes will not be given out for anything.
• Talking about people not present (wendies) is allowed and encouraged.
• Late entries (4.00 p.m.) will be subject to a "round for the house".
• Accidental spillages of porter or other drinkies will be punishable by belittlement.
• Breakers of drinking equipment will be subject to ridicule.
• Any illegal eating outside appointed times (12.30 - 1.00/7.00 - 8.00) is prohibited.
• No exposition of normally-covered body parts.

And so say all of us.

(c) 1997 Jack Long

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