Sing to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody Is this the Moss Side? Or is it fantasy?
Taught by the lies from Matt Busby's Theatre of Dreams

Open your eyes, look right through the lies and see
He's just a French git, deserving no sympathy
Because he's hit them high, hit them low
Karate kick or body blow
Anyway the sod goes, doesn't really matter to me, to me

Mama, just kicked a man, put my studs into his chest
Then I slapped him round the head
My career had only just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, je suis merde, didn't mean to blow my top
If I piss off to Spain some time tommorow
Carry on, carry on, 'cos ze Mancs don't really matter

Lately I have done wrong, that's what I'll tell the press
But I really couldn't care less
Goodbye everybody, I'm due in court
But by the start of October I'll be back

Mama OOOOOOO
I don't wanna sign
I sometimes wish I'd never left France at all

I see a little leather jacket on a man
Sacre bleu! Sacre bleu! I will kick his fucking head in!
Adidas and Nike might take all those ads off me
Manchestero (Manchestero)
Manchestero (Manchestero)
Manchester, I've got to go (so pay me moooooooooooore)

I'm just a French boy, nobody loves me
(He's just a French boy from a French family
Can't blame the parents for this monstrosity)

Easy come, easy go-a red card you will show
Referee? NOOO! you must not send me off (send him off)
Referee? He's going to send me off (send him off)
Referee? He's gone and sent me off (sent him off)
I'll have an early bath (early bath)
Another early bath (early bath)
NON! NON! NON! NON! NON! NON! NON!
Man United, Man United, Man U will not let me go
Dementio has a pay raise put aside for me, for me, for meeeeeeeee

Yes I think I can kick them and spit in their eeeye
Yes I know that they hate me and I don't care why
Oh baby, I would like to join AC
I'd like to sign, I'd like to sign for Milano

Nothing really matters, anyone can see
None of all this matters,nothing really matters to me
Anywhere that pays well...

© Francis O'Donovan 1999.