Lol's Movie Quotes- A


















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A FEW GOOD MEN

You can't handle the truth


ABYSS

These guys are about as much fun as a tax audit.

All I'm saying is that when you're hanging on by your finger nails, you don't go waving your arms around.

With all that's going on in the world, you bring a nuclear weapon in here?

Guy: I'm glad your here---Girl: I'm not

Iknow how alone you feel, alone in all that cold blackness, but I'm there in the dark with you.

Person #1: You use it when you go deep. Person #2: HOW deep? Person #1: Deep.

#1: God, I hate that bitch #2: You probably shouldn't have married her then

I don't remember putting a wall here.

It's not easy being a cast iron bitch.

NTI's. That's better than UFO's.

So raise your hand if you think that was a Russian water-tentacle.

I give this whole thing a spinchter-factor of about 9.5

Hippi you think everything is a conspiracy. Everything is!!!


ACE VENTURA 1 & 2

Yes Satin ....Oh sorry I thought you were someone else.

Cozy, if you're Hannibal Lecter.

WARNING!!! As$holes are closer than they appear!

Hey, maybe i'll give a call sometime. Your number still 911?"

Yuor gun is digging into my hip, God!

If I'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer!

Whew! Now I feel better...OF COURSE, nobodys' missing a porpoise, it's a dolphin that's been taken..the common harbor porpoise has an abrupt snout, pointed teeth and a triangular thorassic fin, while the bottle-nosed dolphin, or Perciontronchatis, has an elongated beak, round cone shaped teeth and a cerrated dorsal appendage, but I'm sure you already knew that. Thats what turns me on about ya, your attention to detail

A) You're just mad because you're stupid little pebble theory didn't work out, and you don't know how to deal with the fact that you were wrong
B) Yeah, and you're ugly

May Dan Marino die of ghonnoreah and rot in hell

A) How would you like for me to make your life a living hell?
B) Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship Lois, but thank you for asking

A) What do you know about pressure? B)
Well, I HAVE kissed a man!

I don't give a goddamn about that fish, fillet it and fast-food it, if ya want to. All I give a damn about's winning the Super Bowl!

And you must be the monopley guy.... thanks for the free parking

Nonsense, poopy pants!

psst, your balls are showing!

This is a lovely room of DEATH!!!

Your request is not unlike your lower intestine...stinky and loaded with danger.

Do not pass go do not collect $200


ADAMS FAMILY

That's the spirit, Thing. Lend a hand.

1) Please pass the salt. 2) And what do we say? 1) NOW

1. Oh my dear, there alot of things, you don't understand. The human spirit is a hard thing to kill. 2. EVEN WITH A CHAINSAW.

1. Is this made from real lemons? 2. Yes. 1. I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons? 3. Yes. 1. I'll tell you what. I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal? 2. Are they made from real Girl Scouts?

You frightened me..........do it again.

1) What game? 2) It's called, "Is there a God?"

1) Unhappy? (2) Oh yes, yes completely

: (1) Unhappy? (2) Oh yes, yes completely


ADVENTURES OF PRISCILLA QUEEN OF THE DESERT

Listen, you little mullet, why don't you light your tampon on fire so it explodes in your box, because that's the only bang you're ever going to get.

I've said it before and I'll say it again- No more f*&ing ABBA!

youve got a face like a cats ass!

My dream is to climb to the top of King's Canyon, as a queen, in a full length, sequined Gaultier, high heels and a tiara
That's all we need. A cock in a frock on a rock


AIRHEADS

I ain't fartin' on no snare drum.

It's like a soggy dream come true!


AIRPLANE

(Striker): Surely, you can't be serious.
(Dr. Rumack): I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

Flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

There's trouble in the cockpit.
#2 What is it?
#1 It's the little room in the front of the plane where the pilot flys the plane, but thats not important right now.

Well, let's see...it could be a HAT, A BROCHE, A PTERODACTYL!
ALIEN SERIES

I'm the monster's mother.
- Ellen Ripley

You still don't know what you're dealing with, do you? Perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility...I admire its purity, a survivor, unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusion of morality.
-Ripley

AMERICAN BEAUTY

This is the highlight of my day. It's all downhill from here

My life is flashing before my eyes, and these guys havn't even broke a sweat.

You don't want to be unemployed.
Oh, ok. Let's all sell our souls to Satan because it's more convenient that way.

my job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble hell.

It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it, right? And this bag was like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in.

Never underestimate the power of denial.

You know if you're not careful you'll turn out to be a bitch just like your mother.

Oh, you think you're the only one, who is SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED?!!
2. I'm not? well, come on baby!! I'M READY!!!
1. Don't Lester, because I will divorce you so fast, it will make your head spin!!
2. ON WHAT GROUNDS!!! I don't drink, I don't fuck other woman, and I have never yelled or hit you in any way, but I did support you when you got your license, so that somehow entitles me to what's HALF MINE!!!

That's my wife Carolyn. See the way the handle on those pruning shears matches her gardening clogs? That's not an accident

That's our next-door neighbor Jim... And that's his lover...Jim.

I've lost something very important. I'm not exactly sure what it is, but I know I didn't always feel this... sedated.

My name is Lester Burnham. This is my neighbourhood. This is my street. This is my life. I am 42 years old. In less than a year I will be dead. Of course I don't know that yet. And in a way I am dead already.

Yeah, Well at least I'm not ugly, Yes you are, and you're boring and you're totally ordinary and you know it.

I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, and my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain, and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You probably don't have any idea what I'm talking about. But don't worry. You will someday.

I didn't lose my job... it's not like, "whoops, where'd my job go?!"

I'll be dead in a year....In a way, I'm dead already.

A.Les, Gotta minute? B.For you, Brad? I've got five.

I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that second isn't a second at all, it streches on forever, like an ocean of time

It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself.

I think you just became my personal hero.

1) why do you even care? 2) because i'm your friend! 3) She's not your friend. She's someone you use to make you feel good about yourself.

A) Honey don't be weird. B) Ok honey, i won't be weird, i'll be whatever you want me to be.

It's okay, I wouldn't remember me either.


AMERICAN HISTORY X

Look who's talking about respecting the law? Mr. K.K.K. here.

Put that away right now, weed is for niggers.

Lincoln freed the slaves, like what, a hundred and thirty years ago. How long does it take to get your act together?!

One in every three black males is in some phase of the correctional system. Is that a coincidence or do these people have, you know, like a racial commitment to crime?

You see that? That means NOT WELCOME!


AMERICAN PIE

We must make a stand here and now. No longer will our peni$es remain flacid and unused. We will fight for every man out there who isn't getting laid and should be. This is our day, This is our time, and by god we will not stand by and watch history condemn us into cellibacy. Yes, we will make a stand, we will succeed, WE WILL GET LAID!


ANALYZE THIS

You don't hear the word NO much do you? - Yeah but usually it's no no no please don't kill me.

Sigmund Freud said that most men wanted to sleep with there mothers.- -Frued was a sick bastard- -Edipus killed his father and married his mother.- -Ohhh. Fuckin' Greeks-


ANIMAL HOUSE

Bluto: My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
Otter: Better listen to him, Flounder. He's pre-med.

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

She's dead? Did she put you up to this? Oh, that minx, what a lively sense of humor.

'Teaching's just a way to pay the bills until I finish my novel.' 'How long have you been working on it?' 'Four and a half years.' 'It must be very good.' 'It's a piece of shit.'

anyone order a greasy pig sandwich on an ashtray
what am i?.........*splat....Im a zit. get it?

This situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture to be done on somebodys part... and we're just the guys to do it!

You fucked up! you trusted us.
You can take your thumb out of my ass anytime now, Carmine.
TOGA TOGA!!!!!!!
Your new name will be Pinto
Now, she should be good looking, but we're willing to trade looks for a certain...morally casual attitude.
They took everything....even the stuff we didn't steal!

(1) Hi, Eric Stratton, Rush chairman, damn glad to meet you. (2) Hi, that was Eric Stratton, Rush chairman, he was damn glad to meet you.

1)What? Over? Did you say over? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbour? Hell no! 2)Germans? 3)Forget it, he's rolling 1) And it ain't over now! Cause when the going gets tough...the tough get going! Now who's with me? COME ON!

Seven years of college down the drain.


ANOTHER STAKEOUT
I don't think you understand the relationship a man has with his facial hair.


ANTZ
I don't know, I just have something against drinking from the anus of another creature.


ARMEGGDON
I learned about the birds and the bees from Freddy Noonan's tattoos!

1 - Hey Harry.
2 - Yeah.
1 - Did you know we are sitting on 2 million gallons of fuel, a nuclear weapon and a thing with 270,000 loose parts that was built by the lowest bidder. Kinda makes you feel good dont it?

#1 Is it true that whoever finds one can name it?
#2 Yes.
#1 Then I want to name it Dottie, after my wife. She's a vicious, life-sucking bitch from which there is no escape.


AS GOOD AS IT GETS
I think people who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch.

Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here.

How do you write women so well?
#2 I think of a man. Then I take away reason and accontability.

Some of us have great stories - pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. Just no one in this car - but a lot of people, that's their story - good times, noodle salad. What makes you mad is not that you had it bad, but that you're pissed that so many others had it good.

Dr. Green, how can you diagnose someone as an obsessive compulsive disorder and then act as though I had some choice about barging in?