If any of the following has happened to you recently, be afraid, be very afraid

 

• Your computer hisses and utters blasphemous remarks while booting.
• There are two horns coming out of the top of your monitor.
• You are using Windows 6.66 and you don't remember buying it.
• Your computer overheats in less than 4 seconds.
• Your printer prints everything in red.
• Your mouse has a tail and a pitchfork.
• When your play 'The Microsoft Sound.wav' backwards you can hear  satanic chants.
• You get "666" as the answer every time you use MS  Calculator.
• You get strange error messages such as:
   
• Invalid filename, it must not contain: ",£,%,^,*,?,{,} or any religious references
  Satan is busy, wait a few seconds or press [CTRL+ALT+DEL] to restart.
  System Halted: Hex Error 666: System Possessed
  Invalid system disk or disk error, please remove disk and sell your soul when ready

If you have suffered from any of the above symptoms it is suggested that you:

1. Contact your nearest priest.
2. Purchase a copy of Microsoft Exorcisor (not to be confused with  Microsoft Exerciser, Microsoft Step Aerobics, Microsoft Weight Loss, Microsoft Fitness,  Microsoft Health or Microsoft In shape.)
3. Ask the devil to leave (politely.)

The following computer brands have been prone to attacks by the Dark Lord:

1. Viglen.
2. Dell.
3. Gateway 2000 (NOTE: Do not contact Gateways 2000's technical support  concerning the Devil, they will make you hold for 35 mins. and then they'll say:  "sorry, we do not support that particular peripheral.")
4. Packard Bell.
5. Toshiba.
6. All Pilot palm tops
7. Anything with a Microsoft product on it

O'Byrne Files^© World 
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March, 2004