Things that test my sanity!

• Trying on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic thing in the middle of them.
• The person behind you in the supermarket runs a trolly into the back of your ankle.
• The lift stops on every floor and nobody gets on.
• There's always a car right up behind you when you're slowing down to find an address.
• You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.
• It's bad enough that you step in dog shite, but you don't realise it till you walk across your living room rug.
• The tiny red string on the Band-Aid wrapper never works for me.
• There's a dog nearby that barks at EVERYTHING.
• You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.
• Three hours and three meetings after lunch you look in the mirror and discover a piece of parsley stuck to your front tooth.
• You drink from a drink can into which someone has extinguished a cigarette.
• You slice your tongue licking an envelope.
• The tire gauge lets out half the air while you're trying to get a reading and then can't inflate it properly.
• A station comes in brilliantly when you're standing near the radio but buzzes, drifts and spits every time you move away.
• There are always one or two ice cubes that won't pop out of the tray
• You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket and your entire laundry comes out covered with lint.
• The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian finish crossing.
• A piece of foil sweet wrapper makes electrical contact with your filling
• You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7pm instead of 7am.
• The radio station doesn't tell you who sang that song you liked.
• You rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.
• People behind you on a supermarket line dash ahead of you to a check-out just opening up.
• Your glasses slide off your nose or ears when you perspire.
• You can't look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary because you don't know how to spell it.
• You have to inform five different sales people in the same shop that you're just browsing.
• You had that pen in your hand only a second ago and now you can't find it.
• You reach under the table to pick something off the floor and smash your head on the way up.
• People continually asking you "do you work here" when you're in a shop.  Some even don't ask you they just skip straight to whatever their query is and then make you say "I'd tell you if I worked here". (Suggested by markostanley@eircom.net )

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Last Updated: Wednesday, 13 December 2006

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