Planning Humour


The Complete Planner Humour Collection

Planning Jokes

How to identify a Planner
Guidelines for successful Planners Planners Staff Structure
Planning Explained to the Uninitiated Planners Jargon Explained

Planning Complaint form

The Planning Administrator
Planner Harassment What Planners mean when they say . . .
Planning implications of Earth's creation and Hell The PLAN
What is a Planner - there are two views! The Rules of Planning

Planners Staff Structure:

Leaps tall buildings with a single bound. Is more powerful than a locomotive. Is faster than a speeding bullet. Walks on water. Makes policy.

Leaps short buildings with a single bound. Is more powerful than a switch engine. Is just as fast as a speeding bullet. Walks on water if the sea is calm.  Talks policy.

Leaps short buildings with a running start and a tail wind. Is almost as powerful as a switch engine. Is faster than a speeding bumble-bee. Walks on water in indoor swimming pools at the shallow end. Discusses policy if special request is approved.

Barely clears security-personnel huts. Loses tug-of-war with locomotives. Can fire a speeding bullet. Swims well. Occasionally hears about policy.

Gets injured when trying to leap buildings. Is run over by locomotives. Can sometimes handle guns without inflicting self injury. Dog paddles. Knows policy exists.

Runs into buildings. Recognises locomotives two out of three. Is not issued ammunition. Can stay afloat if properly instructed in use of Mae West. Pays premiums on policy.

Draws easy buildings for Planners to leap.  Knows when to get out of the way of a locomotive.  Is not issued weapons. Drowns.  Avoids policy.

Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter building. Says “look at the choo-choo.” Wets himself with a water pistol. Plays in mud puddles. Can’t afford policy.

Lifts buildings and walks under them. Kicks locomotives off track. Catches speeding bullets in teeth and eats them. Freezes water with a single glance. Explains policy to Director of Planning.

Planner  Sporting Interests

The Recreation Research Foundation announced the following study results on Planner recreation preferences:

  1. Sport of choice for Student Planners: bowling.
  2. Sport of choice for Graduate Planners: football.
  3. Sport of choice for Executive Planners: cricket
  4. Sport of choice for Senior Planners: tennis.
  5. Sport of choice for Planning Managers: golf.

CONCLUSION: The higher you are in the Planner career structure, the smaller your balls get.

You are a Planner in the Public Sector if...

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and finally, did you know

Carelessly planned projects take three times longer to complete  than expected. Carefully planned projects take four times longer to complete than expected, mostly because the planners expect their planning to reduce the time it takes.

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Copyright © 2001 N. O'Byrne